书城公版The Professor at the Breakfast Table
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第92章

--To come back to what I began to speak of before, -the divinity-student was exercised in his mind about the Little Gentleman, and, in the kindness of his heart,--for he was a good young man,--and in the strength of his convictions,--for he took it for granted that he and his crowd were right, and other folks and their crowd were wrong,--he determined to bring the Little Gentleman round to his faith before he died, if he could.So he sent word to the sick man, that he should be pleased to visit him and have some conversation with him; and received for answer that he would be welcome.

The divinity-student made him a visit, therefore and had a somewhat remarkable interview with him, which I shall briefly relate, without attempting to justify the positions taken by the Little Gentleman.

He found him weak, but calm.Iris sat silent by his pillow.

After the usual preliminaries, the divinity-student said; in a kind way, that he was sorry to find him in failing health, that he felt concerned for his soul, and was anxious to assist him in making preparations for the great change awaiting him.

I thank you, Sir,--said the Little Gentleman, permit me to ask you, what makes you think I am not ready for it, Sir, and that you can do anything to help me, Sir?

I address you only as a fellow-man,--said the divinity-student,--and therefore a fellow-sinner.

I am not a man, Sir! --said the Little Gentleman.--I was born into this world the wreck of a man, and I shall not be judged with a race to which I do not belong.Look at this! --he said, and held up his withered arm.--See there! --and he pointed to his misshapen extremities.--Lay your hand here! --and he laid his own on the region of his misplaced heart.--I have known nothing of the life of your race.When I first came to my consciousness, I found myself an object of pity, or a sight to show.The first strange child I ever remember hid its face and would not come near me.I was a broken-hearted as well as broken-bodied boy.I grew into the emotions of ripening youth, and all that I could have loved shrank from my presence.I became a man in years, and had nothing in common with manhood but its longings.My life is the dying pang of a worn-out race, and I shall go down alone into the dust, out of this world of men and women, without ever knowing the fellowship of the one or the love of the other.I will not die with a lie rattling in my throat.

If another state of being has anything worse in store for me, I have had a long apprenticeship to give me strength that I may bear it.Idon't believe it, Sir! I have too much faith for that.God has not left me wholly without comfort, even here.I love this old place where I was born;--the heart of the world beats under the three hills of Boston, Sir! I love this great land, with so many tall men in it, and so many good, noble women.--His eyes turned to the silent figure by his pillow.--I have learned to accept meekly what has been allotted to me, but I cannot honestly say that I think my sin has been greater than my suffering.I bear the ignorance and the evil-doing of whole generations in my single person.I never drew a breath of air nor took a step that was not a punishment for another's fault.I may have had many wrong thoughts, but I cannot have done many wrong deeds,--for my cage has been a narrow one, and I have paced it alone.I have looked through the bars and seen the great world of men busy and happy, but I had no part in their doings.I have known what it was to dream of the great passions;but since my mother kissed me before she died, no woman's lips have pressed my cheek,--nor ever will.

--The young girl's eyes glittered with a sudden film, and almost without a thought, but with a warm human instinct that rushed up into her face with her heart's blood, she bent over and kissed him.

It was the sacrament that washed out the memory of long years of bitterness, and I should hold it an unworthy thought to defend her.

The Little Gentleman repaid her with the only tear any of us ever saw him shed.

The divinity-student rose from his place, and, turning away from the sick man, walked to the other side of the room, where he bowed his head and was still.All the questions he had meant to ask had faded from his memory.The tests he had.prepared by which to judge of his fellow-creature's fitness for heaven seemed to have lost their virtue.He could trust the crippled child of sorrow to the Infinite Parent.The kiss of the fair-haired girl had been like a sign from heaven, that angels watched over him whom he was presuming but a moment before to summon before the tribunal of his private judgment.

Shall I pray with you?--he said, after a pause.A little before he would have said, Shall I pray for you?--The Christian religion, as taught by its Founder, is full of sentiment.So we must not blame the divinity-student, if he was overcome by those yearnings of human sympathy which predominate so much more in the sermons of the Master than in the writings of his successors, and which have made the parable of the Prodigal Son the consolation of mankind, as it has been the stumbling-block of all exclusive doctrines.

Pray! --said the Little Gentleman.

The divinity-student prayed, in low, tender tones,Iris and the Little Gentleman that God would look on his servant lying helpless at the feet of his mercy; that He would remember his long years of bondage in the flesh; that He would deal gently with the bruised reed.Thou hast visited the sins of the fathers upon this their child.Oh, turn away from him the penalties of his own transgressions! Thou hast laid upon him, from infancy, the cross which thy stronger children are called upon to take up; and now that he is fainting under it, be Thou his stay, and do Thou succor him that is tempted! Let his manifold infirmities come between him and Thy judgment; in wrath remember mercy! If his eyes are not opened to all Thy truth, let Thy compassion lighten the darkness that rests upon him, even as it came through the word of thy Son to blind Bartimeus, who sat by the wayside, begging!