书城公版The Letters of Mark Twain Vol.1
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第148章

LETTERS, 1884, TO HOWELLS AND OTHERS.CABLE'S GREAT APRIL FOOL.

"HUCK FINN" IN PRESS.MARK TWAIN FOR CLEVELAND.CLEMENS AND CABLEMark Twain had a lingering attack of the dramatic fever that winter.

He made a play of the Prince and Pauper, which Howells pronounced "too thin and slight and not half long enough." He made another of Tom Sawyer, and probably destroyed it, for no trace of the MS.exists to-day.

Howells could not join in these ventures, for he was otherwise occupied and had sickness in his household.

To W.D.Howells, in Boston:

Jan.7, '84.

MY DEAR HOWELLS,--"O my goodn's" ,as Jean says.You have now encountered at last the heaviest calamity that can befall an author.The scarlet fever, once domesticated, is a permanent member of the family.Money may desert you, friends forsake you, enemies grow indifferent to you, but the scarlet fever will be true to you, through thick and thin, till you be all saved or damned, down to the last one.I say these things to cheer you.

The bare suggestion of scarlet fever in the family makes me shudder; Ibelieve I would almost rather have Osgood publish a book for me.

You folks have our most sincere sympathy.Oh, the intrusion of this hideous disease is an unspeakable disaster.

My billiard table is stacked up with books relating to the Sandwich Islands: the walls axe upholstered with scraps of paper penciled with notes drawn from them.I have saturated myself with knowledge of that unimaginably beautiful land and that most strange and fascinating people.

And I have begun a story.Its hidden motive will illustrate a but-little considered fact in human nature; that the religious folly you are born in you will die in, no matter what apparently reasonabler religious folly may seem to have taken its place meanwhile, and abolished and obliterated it.I start Bill Ragsdale at 12 years of age, and the heroine at 4, in the midst of the ancient idolatrous system, with its picturesque and amazing customs and superstitions, 3 months before the arrival of the missionaries and the erection of a shallow Christianity upon the ruins of the old paganism.Then these two will become educated Christians, and highly civilized.

And then I will jump 15 years, and do Ragsdale's leper business.When we came to dramatize, we can draw a deal of matter from the story, all ready to our hand.

Yrs Ever MARK.

He never finished the Sandwich Islands story which he and Howells were to dramatize later.His head filled up with other projects, such as publishing plans, reading-tours, and the like.The type-setting machine does not appear in the letters of this period, but it was an important factor, nevertheless.It was costing several thousand dollars a month for construction and becoming a heavy drain on Mark Twain's finances.It was necessary to recuperate, and the anxiety for a profitable play, or some other adventure that would bring a quick and generous return, grew out of this need.

Clemens had established Charles L.Webster, his nephew by marriage, in a New York office, as selling agent for the Mississippi book and for his plays.He was also planning to let Webster publish the new book, Huck Finn.

George W.Cable had proven his ability as a reader, and Clemens saw possibilities in a reading combination, which was first planned to include Aldrich, and Howells, and a private car.

But Aldrich and Howells did not warm to the idea, and the car was eliminated from the plan.Cable came to visit Clemens in Hartford, and was taken with the mumps, so that the reading-trip was postponed.

The fortunes of the Sellers play were most uncertain and becoming daily more doubtful.In February, Howells wrote: "If you have got any comfort in regard to our play I wish you would heave it into my bosom."Cable recovered in time, and out of gratitude planned a great April-fool surprise for his host.He was a systematic man, and did it in his usual thorough way.He sent a "private and confidential"suggestion to a hundred and fifty of Mark Twain's friends and admirers, nearly all distinguished literary men.The suggestion was that each one of them should send a request for Mark Twain's autograph, timing it so that it would arrive on the 1st of April.

All seemed to have responded.Mark Twain's writing-table on April Fool morning was heaped with letters, asking in every ridiculous fashion for his "valuable autograph." The one from Aldrich was a fair sample.He wrote: "I am making a collection of autographs of our distinguished writers, and having read one of your works, Gabriel Convoy, I would like to add your name to the list."Of course, the joke in this was that Gabriel Convoy was by Bret Harte, who by this time was thoroughly detested by Mark Twain.The first one or two of the letters puzzled the victim; then he comprehended the size and character of the joke and entered into it thoroughly.One of the letters was from Bloodgood H.Cutter, the "Poet Lariat" of Innocents Abroad.Cutter, of course, wrote in "poetry," that is to say, doggerel.Mark Twain's April Fool was a most pleasant one.

Rhymed letter by Bloodgood H.Cutter to Mark Twain:

LITTLE NECK, LONG ISLAND.

LONG ISLAND FARMER, TO HIS FRIEND AND PILGRIM BROTHER, SAMUEL L.CLEMENS, ESQ.

Friends, suggest in each one's behalf To write, and ask your autograph.

To refuse that, I will not do, After the long voyage had with you.

That was a memorable time You wrote in prose, I wrote in Rhyme To describe the wonders of each place, And the queer customs of each race.

That is in my memory yet For while I live I'll not forget.

I often think of that affair And the many that were with us there.

As your friends think it for the best I ask your Autograph with the rest, Hoping you will it to me send 'Twill please and cheer your dear old friend:

Yours truly, BLOODGOOD H.CUTTER.

To W.D.Howells, in Boston:

HARTFORD, Apl 8, '84.

MY DEAR HOWELLS, It took my breath away, and I haven't recovered it yet, entirely--I mean the generosity of your proposal to read the proofs of Huck Finn.