The company were all very agreeable; we looked forward to the moment of separation with regret, and therefore made snails' journeys.We arrived one Sunday at St.Marcellin's.Madam de Larnage would go to mass; I accompanied her, and had nearly ruined all my affairs, for by my modest reserved countenance during the service, she concluded me a bigot, and conceived a very indifferent opinion of me, as Ilearned from her own account two days after.It required a great deal of gallantry on my part to efface this ill impression, or rather Madam de Larnage (who was not easily disheartened) determined to risk the first advances, and see how I should behave.She made several, but far from being presuming on my figure, I thought she was making sport of me: full of this ridiculous idea there was no folly I was not guilty of.Madam de Larnage persisted in such caressing behavior, that a much wiser man than myself could hardly have taken it seriously.The more obvious her advances were, the more I was confirmed in my mistake, and what increased my torment, Ifound I was really in love with her.I frequently said to myself, and sometimes to her, sighing, "Ah! why is not all this real? then should I be the most fortunate of men." I am inclined to think my stupidity did but increase her resolution, and make her determine to get the better of it.
We left Madam du Colombier at Romans; after which Madam de Larnage, the Marquis de Torignan, and myself continued our route slowly, and in the most agreeable manner.The marquis, though indisposed, and rather ill-humored, was an agreeable companion, but was not best pleased at seeing the lady bestow all her attentions on me, while he passed unregarded; for Madam de Larnage took so little care to conceal her inclination, that he perceived it sooner than Idid, and his sarcasms must have given me that confidence I could not presume to take from the kindness of the lady, if by a surmise, which no one but myself could have blundered on, I had not imagined they perfectly understood each other, and were agreed to turn my passion into ridicule.This foolish idea completed my stupidity, making me act the most ridiculous part, while, had I listened to the feelings of my heart, I might have been performing one far more brilliant.I am astonished that Madam de Larnage was not disgusted, and did not discard me with disdain; but she plainly perceived there was more bashfulness than indifference in my composition.
She at last succeeded in making me understand her; but it was not easy for her.We arrived at Valence to dinner, and according to our usual custom passed the remainder of the day there.We lodged out of the city, at the St.James, an inn I shall never forget.After dinner, Madam de Larnage proposed a walk; she knew the marquis was no walker, consequently, this was an excellent plan for a tete-a-tete, which she was pre-determined to make the most of.While we were walking round the city by the side of the moats, I entered on a long history of my complaint, to which she answered in so tender an accent, frequently pressing my arm, which she held to her heart, that it required all my stupidity not to be convinced of the sincerity of her attachment.I have already observed that she was amiable, love rendered her charming, adding all the loveliness of youth; and she managed her advances with so much art, that they were sufficient to have seduced the most insensible: I was, therefore, in very uneasy circumstances, and frequently on the point of making a declaration;but the dread of offending her, and the still greater of being laughed at, ridiculed, made table-talk, and complimented on my enterprise by the satirical marquis, had such unconquerable power over me, that, though ashamed of my ridiculous bashfulness, I could not take courage to surmount it.I had ended the history of my complaints, which I felt the ridiculousness of at this time; and not knowing how to look, or what to say, continued silent, giving the finest opportunity in the world for that ridicule I so much dreaded.Happily, Madam de Larnage took a more favorable resolution, and suddenly interrupted this silence by throwing her arm round my neck, while, at the same instant, her lips spoke too plainly on mine to be any longer misunderstood.This was reposing that confidence in me the want of which has almost always prevented me from appearing myself: for once I was at ease, my heart, eyes, and tongue, spoke freely what Ifelt; never did I make better reparation for my mistakes, and if this little conquest had cost Madam de Larnage some difficulties, Ihave reason to believe she did not regret them.
Was I to live a hundred years, I should never forget this charming woman.It was possible to see her without falling in love, but those she favored could not fail to adore her; which proves, in my opinion, that she was not generally so prodigal of her favors.It is true, her inclination for me was so sudden and lively, that it scarce appears excusable; though from the short, but charming interval I passed with her, I have reason to think her heart was more influenced than her passions, and during the short and delightful time I was with her, I undoubtedly believe that she showed me a consideration that was not natural to her, as she was sensual and voluptuous; but she preferred my health for her own pleasure.
Our good intelligence did not escape the penetration of the marquis;not that he discontinued his usual raillery; on the contrary, he treated me as a sighing, hopeless swain, languishing under the rigors of his mistress; not a word, smile, or look escaped him by.