书城公版THE CONFESSIONS
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第143章 [1741](30)

All her letters contained evident marks of her distress.She sent me piles of recipes, and numerous secrets, with which she pretended Imight make my fortune and her own.The idea of her wretchedness already affected her heart and contracted her mind.The little Isent her fell a prey to the knaves by whom she was surrounded; she received not the least advantage from anything.The idea of dividing what was necessary to my own subsistence with these wretches disgusted me, especially after the vain attempt I had made to deliver her from them, and of which I shall have occasion to speak.Time slipped away, and with it the little money I had; we were two, or indeed, four persons; or, to speak still more correctly, seven or eight.Although Theresa was disinterested to a degree of which there are but few examples, her mother was not so.She was no sooner a little relieved from her necessities by my care, than she sent for her whole family to partake of the fruits of them.Her sisters, sons, daughters, all, except her eldest daughter, married to the director of the coaches of Angers, came to Paris.Everything I did for Theresa her mother diverted from its original destination in favor of these people who were starving.I had not to do with an avaricious person; and, not being under the influence of an unruly passion, I was not guilty of follies.Satisfied with genteelly supporting Theresa without luxury, and unexposed to pressing wants, I readily consented to let all the earnings of her industry go to the profit of her mother; and to this even I did not confine myself; but, by a fatality by which I was pursued, whilst mamma was a prey to the rascals about her, Theresa was the same to her family; and I could not do anything on either side for the benefit of her to whom the succor I gave was destined.It was odd enough the youngest child of M.de la Vasseur, the only one who had not received a marriage portion from her parents, should provide for their subsistence; and that, after having a long time been beaten by her brothers, sisters, and even her nieces, the poor girl should be plundered by them all, without being more able to defend herself from their thefts than from their blows.One of her nieces, named Goton le Duc, was of a mild and amiable character; although spoiled by the lessons and examples of the others.As I frequently saw them together, I gave them names, which they afterwards gave to each other; I called the niece my niece, and the aunt my aunt; they both called me uncle.Hence the name of aunt, by which I continued to call Theresa, and which my friends sometimes jocosely repeated.It will be judged that in such a situation I had not a moment to lose, before I attempted to extricate myself.Imagining M.de Richelieu had forgotten me, and, having no more hopes from the court, I made some attempts to get my opera brought out at Paris; but I met with difficulties which could not immediately be removed, and my situation became daily more painful.I presented my little comedy of Narcisse to the Italians; it was received, and I had the freedom of the theater, which gave much pleasure.But this was all; I could never get my piece performed, and, tired of paying my court to players, Igave myself no more trouble about them.At length I had recourse to the last expedient which remained to me, and the only one of which Iought to have made use.While frequenting the house of M.de la Popliniere, I had neglected the family of Dupin.The two ladies, although related, were not upon good terms, and never saw each other.There was not the least intercourse between the two families, and Thieriot was the only person who visited both.He was desired to endeavor to bring me again to M.Dupin's.M.de Francueil was then studying natural history and chemistry, and collecting a cabinet.Ibelieve he aspired to become a member of the Academy of Sciences; to this effect he intended to write a book, and judged I might be of use to him in the undertaking.Madam de Dupin, who, on her part, had another work in contemplation, had much the same views with respect to me.They wished to have me in common as a kind of secretary, and this was the reason of the invitations of Thieriot.

I required that M.de Francueil should previously employ his interest with that of Jelyote to get my work rehearsed at the opera-house; to this he consented.The Muses Galantes were several times rehearsed, first at the Magazin, and afterwards in the Grand Theatre.The audience was very numerous at the great rehearsal, and several parts of the composition were highly applauded.However, during this rehearsal, very ill-conducted by Rebel, I felt the piece would not be received; and that, before it could appear, great alterations were necessary.I therefore withdrew it without saving a word, or exposing myself to a refusal; but I plainly perceived, by several indications, that the work, had it been perfect, could not have succeeded.M.de Francueil had promised me to get it rehearsed, but not that it should be received.He exactly kept his word.Ithought I perceived on this occasion, as well as many others, that neither Madam Dupin nor himself were willing I should acquire a certain reputation in the world, lest, after the publication of their books, it should be supposed they had grafted their talents upon mine.Yet as Madam Dupin always supposed those I had to be very moderate, and never employed me except it was to write what she dictated, or in researches of pure erudition, the reproach, with respect to her, would have been unjust.