This letter was concluded by an act of confidence which would have had an effect upon any other man; for, in desiring Grimm to weigh my reasons and afterwards to give me his opinion, I informed him that, let this be what it would, I should act accordingly, and such was my intention had he even thought I ought to set off; for M.d'Epinay having appointed himself the conductor of his wife, my going with them would then have had a different appearance; whereas it was I who, in the first place, was asked to take upon me that employment, and he was out of the question until after my refusal.
The answer from Grimm was slow in coming: it was singular enough, on which account I will here transcribe it.(See Packet A, No.59.)* * * * *
"The departure of Madam d'Epinay is postponed: her son is ill, and it is necessary to wait until his health is reestablished.I will consider the contents of your letter.Remain quiet at your Hermitage.I will send you my opinion as soon as this shall be necessary.As she will certainly not set off for some days, there is no immediate occasion for it.In the meantime you may, if you think proper, make her your offers, although this to me seems a matter of indifference.For, knowing your situation as well as you do yourself, I doubt not of her returning to your offers such an answer as she ought to do; and all the advantage which, in my opinion, can result from this, will be your having it in your power to say to those by whom you may be importuned, that your not being of the traveling party was not for want of having made your offers to that effect.
Moreover, I do not see why you will absolutely have it that the philosopher is the speaking-trumpet of all the world, nor because he is of opinion you ought to go, why you should imagine all your friends think as he does? If you write to Madam d'Epinay, her answer will be yours to all your friends, since you have it so much at heart to give them all an answer.Adieu.I embrace Madam le Vasseur and the Criminal."** M.le Vasseur, whose wife governed him rather rudely, called her the Lieutenant Criminal.Grimm in a joke gave the same name to the daughter, and by way of abridgment was pleased to retrench the first word.
Struck with astonishment at reading this letter I vainly endeavored to find out what it meant.How! instead of answering me, with simplicity, he took time to consider of what I had written, as if the time he had already taken was not sufficient! He intimates even the state of suspense in which he wishes to keep me, as if a profound problem was to be resolved, or that it was of importance to his views to deprive me of every means of comprehending his intentions until the moment he should think proper to make them known.What therefore did he mean by these pre, cautions, delays, and mysteries?
Was this manner of acting consistent with honor and uprightness? Ivainly sought for some favorable interpretation of his conduct; it was impossible to find one.Whatever his design might be, were this inimical to me, his situation facilitated the execution of it without its being possible for me in mine to oppose the least obstacle.In favor, in the house of a great prince, having an extensive acquaintance, and giving the tone to common circles of which he was the oracle, he had it in his power, with his usual address, to dispose everything in his favor; and I, alone in my Hermitage, far removed from all society, without the benefit of advice, and having no communication with the world, had nothing to do but to remain in peace.All I did was to write to Madam d'Epinay upon the illness of her son, as polite a letter as could be written, but in which I did not fall into the snare of offering to accompany her to Geneva.
After waiting for a long time in the most cruel uncertainty, into which that barbarous man had plunged me, I learned, at the expiration of eight or ten days, that Madam d'Epinay was set off, and received from him a second letter.It contained not more than seven or eight lines which I did not entirely read.It was a rupture, but in such terms as the most infernal hatred only can dictate, and these became unmeaning by the excessive degree of acrimony with which he wished to charge them.He forbade me his presence as he would have forbidden me his states.All that was wanting to his letter to make it laughable, was to be read over with coolness.Without taking a copy of it, or reading the whole of the contents, I returned it him immediately, accompanied by the following note:
* * * * *
"I refused to admit the force of the just reasons I had of suspicion: I now, when it is too late, am become sufficiently acquainted with your character.
"This then is the letter upon which you took time to meditate: Ireturn it to you, it is not for me.You may show mine to the whole world and hate me openly; this on your part will be a falsehood the less."* * * * *
My telling he might show my preceding letter related to an article in his by which his profound address throughout the whole affair will be judged of.
I have observed that my letter might inculpate me in the eyes of persons unacquainted with the particulars of what had passed.This he was delighted to discover; but how was he to take advantage of it without exposing himself? By showing the letter he ran the risk of being reproached with abusing the confidence of his friend.