Although my heart led me to the castle of Montmorency, by my sincere attachment to those by whom it was inhabited, it by the same means drew me back to the neighborhood of it, there to taste the sweets of the equal and simple life, in which my only happiness consisted.
Theresa had contracted a friendship with the daughter of one of my neighbors, a mason of the name of Pilleu; I did the same with the father, and after having dined at the castle, not without some constraint, to please Madam de Luxembourg, with what eagerness did Ireturn in the evening to sup with the good man Pilleu and his family, sometimes at his own house and at others at mine!
Besides my two lodgings in the country, I soon had a third at the Hotel de Luxembourg, the proprietors of which pressed me so much to go and see them there that I consented, notwithstanding my aversion to Paris, where, since my retiring to the Hermitage, I had been but twice, upon the two occasions of which I have spoken.I did not now go there except on the days agreed upon, solely to supper, and the next morning I returned to the country.I entered and came out by the garden which faces the boulevard, so that I could with the greatest truth, say I had not set my foot upon the stones of Paris.
In the midst of this transient prosperity, a catastrophe, which was to be the conclusion of it, was preparing at a distance.A short time after my return to Mont-Louis, I made there, and as it was customary, against my inclination, a new acquaintance, which makes another era in my private history.Whether this be favorable or unfavorable, the reader will hereafter be able to judge.The person with whom I became acquainted was the Marchioness of Verdelin, my neighbor, whose husband had just bought a country-house at Soisy, near Montmorency.Mademoiselle d'Ars, daughter to the Comte d'Ars, a man of fashion, but poor, had married M.de Verdelin, old, ugly, deaf, uncouth, brutal, jealous, with gashes in his face, and blind of one eye, but, upon the whole, a good man when properly managed, and in possession of a fortune of from fifteen to twenty thousand a year.
This charming object, swearing, roaring, scolding, storming, and making his wife cry all day long, ended by doing whatever she thought proper, and this to set her in a rage, because she knew how to persuade him that it was he who would, and she who would not have it so.M.de Margency, of whom I have spoken, was the friend of madam, and became that of monsieur.He had a few years before let them his castle of Margency, near Eaubonne and Andilly, and they resided there precisely at the time of my passion for Madam d'Houdetot.
Madam d'Houdetot and Madam de Verdelin became acquainted with each other, by means of Madam d'Aubeterre their common friend; and as the garden of Margency was in the road by which Madam d'Houdetot went to Mont Olympe, her favorite walk, Madam de Verdelin gave her a key that she might pass through it.By means of this key I crossed it several times with her; but I did not like unexpected meetings, and when Madam de Verdelin was by chance upon our way I left them together without speaking to her, and went on before.This want of gallantry must have made on her an impression unfavorable to me.Yet when she was at Soisy she was anxious to have my company.She came several times to see me at Mont-Louis, without finding me at home, and perceiving I did not return her visit, took it into her head, as a means of forcing me to do it, to send me pots of flowers for my terrace.I was under the necessity of going to thank her; this was all she wanted, and we thus became acquainted.
This connection, like every other I formed, or was led into contrary to my inclination, began rather boisterously.There never reigned in it a real calm.The turn of mind of Madam de Verdelin was too opposite to me.Malignant expressions and pointed sarcasms came from her with so much simplicity, that a continual attention too fatiguing for me was necessary to perceive she was turning into ridicule the person to whom she spoke.One trivial circumstance which occurs to my recollection will be sufficient to give an idea of her manner.Her brother had just obtained the command of a frigate cruising against the English.I spoke of the manner of fitting out this frigate without diminishing its swiftness of sailing."Yes," replied she, in the most natural tone of voice, "no more cannon are taken than are necessary for fighting." I seldom have heard her speak well of any of her absent friends without letting slip something to their prejudice.What she did not see with an evil eye she looked upon with one of ridicule, and her friend Margency was not excepted.What Ifound most insupportable in her was the perpetual constraint proceeding from her little messages, presents and billets, to which it was a labor for me to answer, and I had continual embarrassments either in thanking or refusing.However, by frequently seeing this lady I became attached to her.She had her troubles as well as I had mine.Reciprocal confidence rendered our conversations interesting.
Nothing so cordially attaches two persons as the satisfaction of weeping together.We sought the company of each other for our reciprocal consolation, and the want of this has frequently made me pass over many things.I had been so severe in my frankness with her, that after having sometimes shown so little esteem for her character, a great deal was necessary to be able to believe she could sincerely forgive me.
The following letter is a specimen of the epistles I sometimes wrote to her, and it is to be remarked that she never once in any of her answers to them seemed to be in the least degree piqued.
MONTMORENCY, 5th November, 1760.