At Stalham the real hall of the house was used as a billiard-room, and here, leaning against the billiard table, the Colonel found poor Faddle. When a man is compelled by some chance circumstance to address another man whom he does not know, and whom by inspection he feels he shall never wish to know, he always hardens his face, and sometimes also his voice. So it was with the Colonel when he looked at Faddle. A word he did say, not in words absolutely uncivil, as to the nature of the business in hand. Then Faddle, showing his emotion by a quaver in his voice, suggested that as the matter was one of extreme delicacy some more private apartment might be provided. Upon this Stubbs led the way into a little room which was for the most part filled with hunting gear, and offered the stranger one of the three chairs which it contained.
Faddle sat down, finding himself so compelled, though the Colonel still remained standing, and then extracted the fatal epistle from his pocket. "Colonel Stubbs," said he, handing up the missive, "I am directed by my friend, Mr Thomas Tringle, junior, to put this letter into your own hand. When you have read it I shall be ready to consult with you as to its contents." These few words he had learnt by heart on his journey down, having practised them continually.
The Colonel took the letter, and turning to the window read it with his back to the visitor. He read it twice from beginning to end in order that he might have time to resolve whether he would laugh aloud at both Faddle and Tringle, or whether it might not be better to endeavour to soften the anger of poor Tom by a message which should be at any rate kindly worded. "This is from my friend, Tom Tringle," he said.
"From Mr Thomas Tringle, junior," said Faddle, proudly.
"So I perceive. I am sorry to think that he should be in so much trouble. He is one of the best fellows I know, and I am really grieved that he should be unhappy. This, you know, is all nonsense.""It is not nonsense at all, Colonel Stubbs.""You must allow me to be the judge of that, Mr Faddle. It is at any rate nonsense to me. He wants me to go somewhere and fight a duel -- which I should not do with any man under any circumstances.
Here there is no possible ground for any quarrel whatsoever --as I will endeavour to explain, myself, to my friend, Mr Tringle.
I shall be sure to write to him at once -- and so I will bid you good afternoon."But this did not at all suit poor Faddle after so long a journey.
"I thought it probable that you would write, Colonel Stubbs, and therefore I am prepared to wait. If I cannot be accommodated here I will wait -- will wait elsewhere.""That will not be at all necessary. We have a post to London twice a day.""You must be aware, Colonel Stubbs, that letters of this sort should not be sent by post.""The kind of letter I shall write may be sent by post very well.
It will not be bellicose, and therefore there can be no objection.""I really think, Colonel Stubbs, that you are making very little of a very serious matter.""Mr Faddle, I really must manage my own affairs after my own way. Would you like a glass of sherry? If not, I need hardly ask you to stay here any longer." Upon that he went out into the billiard-room and rang the bell. Poor Faddle would have liked the glass of sherry, but he felt that it would be incompatible with the angry dignity which he assumed, and he left the house without another word or even a gesture of courtesy. Then he returned to London, having taken his bag and dress coat all the way to Stalham for nothing.
Tom's letter was almost too good to be lost, but there was no one to whom the joke could be made known except Lady Albury.
She, he was sure, would keep poor Tom's secret as well as his own, and to her he showed the letter. "I pity him from the bottom of my heart," he said. Lady Albury declared that the writer of such a letter was too absurd for pity. "Not at all. Unless he really loved her he wouldn't have been so enraged. I suppose he does think that I injured him. He did tell me his story, and I didn't tell him mine. I can understand it all, though I didn't imagine he was such a fool as to invite me to travel all round the world because of the harsh laws of Great Britain. Nevertheless, I shall write to him quite an affectionate letter, remembering that, should I succeed myself, he will be my first cousin by marriage."Before he went to bed that night he wrote his letter, and the reader may as well see the whole correspondence:
MY DEAR TRINGLE, If you will think of it all round you will see that you have got no cause of quarrel with me any more than I have with you.
If it be the case that we are both attached to your cousin, we must abide her decision whether it be in favour of either of us, or, as may be too probably the case, equally adverse to both of us. If I understand your letter rightly, you think that Ibehaved unfairly when I did not tell you of my own affairs upon hearing yours from your own lips. Why should I? Why should Ihave been held to be constrained to tell my secret because you, for your own sake, had told me yours? Had I been engaged to your cousin -- which I regret to say is very far from the case --I should have told you, naturally. I should have regarded the matter as settled, and should have acquainted you with a fact which would have concerned you. But as such was not a fact, Iwas by no means bound to tell you how my affairs stood. This ought to be clear to you, and I hope will be when you have read what I say.
I may as well go on to declare that under no circumstances should I fight a duel with you. If I thought I had done wrong in the matter I would beg your pardon. I can't do that as it is -- though I am most anxious to appease you -- because I have done you no wrong.
Pray forget your animosity -- which is in truth unfounded --and let us be friends as we were before.
Yours very sincerely, JONATHAN STUBBS