书城公版Ayala' s Angel
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第39章

"I mean that she is not a bit in love with him, and when a girl is like that I suppose she is -- is afraid of a man, if everybody else wants her to marry him.""Why should everybody want her to marry Tom?" asked Lady Tringle, indignantly. "I am sure I don't want her.""I suppose it is Uncle Tom, and Aunt Dosett and Uncle Reginald,"said poor Lucy, finding that she had made a mistake.

"I don't see why anybody should want her to marry Tom. Tom is carried away by her baby face, and makes a fool of himself. As to everybody wanting her, I hope she does not flatter herself that there is anything of the kind.""I only meant that I think she would rather not be brought here, where she would have to see him daily."After this the loan of the carriage was at last made, and Lucy was allowed to visit her sister at the Crescent. "Has he been there?" was almost the first question that Ayala asked.

"What he do you mean?"

"Isadore Hamel."

"No; I have not seen him since I met him in the Park. But I do not want to talk about Mr Hamel, Ayala. Mr Hamel is nothing.""Oh, Lucy."

"He is nothing. Had he been anything, he has gone, and there would be an end to it. But he is nothing.""If a man is true he may go, but he will come back." Ayala had her ideas about the Angel of Light very clearly impressed upon her mind in regard to the conduct of the man, though they were terribly vague as to his personal appearance, his condition of life, his appropriateness for marriage, and many other details of his circumstances. It had also often occurred to her that this Angel of Light, when he should come, might not be in love with herself -- and that she might have to die simply because she had seen him and loved him in vain. But he would be a man sure to come back if there were fitting reasons that he should do so. Isadore Hamel was not quite an Angel of Light, but he was nearly angelic -- at any rate very good, and surely would come back.

"Never mind about Mr Hamel, Ayala. It is not nice to talk about a man who has never spoken a word.""Never spoken a word! Oh, Lucy!"

"Mr Hamel has never spoken a word, and I will not talk about him. There! All my heart is open to you, Ayala. You know that.

But I will not talk about Mr Hamel. Aunt Emmeline wants you to come to Queen's Gate.""I will not."

"Or rather it is Sir Thomas who wants you to come. I do like Uncle Tom. I do, indeed.""So do I."

"You ought to come when he asks you."

"Why ought I? That lout would be there -- of course.""I don't know about his being a lout, Ayala.""He comes here, and I have to be perfectly brutal to him. You can't guess the sort of things I say to him, and he doesn't mind it a bit. He thinks that he has to go on long enough, and that I must give way at last. If I were to go to Queen's Gate it would be just as much as to say that I had given way.""Why not?"

"Lucy!"

"Why not? He is not bad. He is honest, and true, and kind-hearted.

I know you can't be happy here."

"No."

"Aunt Dosett, with all her affairs, must be trouble to you. Icould not bear them patiently. How can you?""Because they are better than Tom Tringle. I read somewhere about there being seven houses of the Devil, each one being lower and worse than the other. Tom would be the lowest -- the lowest --the lowest."

"Ayala, my darling."

"Do not tell me that I ought to marry Tom," said Ayala, almost standing off in anger from the proferred kiss. "Do you think that I could love him?""I think you could if you tried, because he is loveable. It is so much to be good, and then he loves you truly. After all, it is something to have everything nice around you. You have not been made to be poor and uncomfortable. I fear that it must be bad with you here.""It is bad."