That night, before Winter came home, I asked Mom if she'd ever let me get a tattoo.
"Sure," she said, "but you have to let me draw it." This was a joke, I could tell, because Mom can't even draw stick figures. "Why?" she asked. "Does Winter have a tattoo I don't know about?"
Winter didn't have any tattoos that I knew about. "What does Winter have to do with it?" I asked.
"Well, whenever Winter does something, you suddenly want to do it, too," Mom said. Which was a complete falsehood, because I had no desire to set foot in Sarah Borne.
"I was just wondering," I told her. But I remembered the notebook and my observations. This would be the perfect time to show Mom. I started by asking, "Why is Winter still going to Sarah Borne? Can't she go back to public school?"
"She absolutely could, if I would let her," Mom said. "And though I shouldn't have to explain my decisions to my ten-year-old daughter, I will tell you that I want to make absolutely sure that Winter remembers her time at Sarah Borne. It will prevent future mishaps."
Future mishaps had already been prevented, I thought, since Winter was keeping all her stories extra-secret. I told Mom that maybe her plan was working too well, pointing out how depressed Winter was all the time and pulling out my notebook for her to read.
Mom read through the entire list of observations without a single "Hmm," or "Oh no," or even "Heavenly Donuts!" After a few minutes she handed the notebook back to me and said, "Star, I know teenagers. When I was pregnant with Winter and I thought my life was over, I was very depressed. But it was just a phase. Now Winter's going through similar feelings, even if she is being a bit overdramatic about it. When you're a teenager, you'll find out. Even the smallest, most insignificant things can make you feel like the whole world's out to get you."
Maybe Mom was right. And if she was, maybe I was overreacting, thinking that my failure of a club was a hopeless mess that couldn't be saved.
I mean, it is a good club.
It just needs more people.
Star Mackie
September 25
Week 2 Vocabulary Sentences
NEW AND IMPROVED!
1. Once during the summer Mom and Winter got into a huge argument about school and California and gas money. Winter threw a lamp that shattered against the wall and fell to pieces, and then two seconds later Gloria came in the door with a big pink box of donuts, and she said, "Who wants donuts?" all singsong and happy, and the silence after she said that was awkward.
2. When we lived in Brookings, Oregon, we boycotted a lot of things. Mostly department stores, unless there was a clearance sale, but I remember once Mom boycotted the electric company because she didn't have enough money to pay the bill. That was actually fun, because we got to use candles for a few months.
3. A lot of the trailers at Treasure Trailers are derelict. Winter says it's because people who live in trailers already know they've hit rock bottom. Mom says it's because trailers are hard to maintain. Gloria says the rust spots give her trailer personality.
4. There are at least five different people in Treasure Trailers who fit the description of gaunt, but Gloria says they are just drugged-out. So I guess that girl's mom was right? Unless "drugged-out" is different from "drug-addicted."
5. No one uses the word katzenjammer, Mr. Savage, but I will try: everyone in Treasure Trailers—at least Mrs. O'Grady, though she says she knows a couple others who agree—is in a katzenjammer about the broken-down vending machine in front of the owner's office that keeps eating one-dollar bills without giving anything back.
6. Some of the perils of living in a trailer park: sometimes cars crash into your trailer, and sometimes the cops come by and ask a lot of questions even though they're actually looking for the guy in the next lot who already moved out.
7. The dump is across the fence from us. If I were a criminal escaping from the police, I would hide there, behind the enormous trash piles. And then I'd be taking refuge in refuse. Get it?
8. My mom had her very own scandal. When she was nineteen, she had my sister, Winter, and she wasn't married. Gloria said it was a big deal, even in the nineties.
9. Every day I traverse my way to school, since Mom says, "It's only twelve blocks" and "Ask me again how far I used to walk to school, Star, go ahead."
10. I only have one memory of my dad, and it's sort of vague. We were at the county fair, and I was on the Ferris wheel, so I only saw him from far away. The thing I remember most clearly about that day is that after I got off the Gravitron, I threw up.