书城英文图书Betrayal
10796400000003

第3章

1977

Pub. 1977. Spring.

Noon.

EMMA is sitting at a corner table. JERRY approaches with drinks, a pint of bitter for him, a glass of wine for her.

He sits. They smile, toast each other silently, drink.

He sits back and looks at her.

JERRY

Well …

EMMA

How are you?

JERRY

All right.

EMMA

You look well.

JERRY

Well, I'm not all that well, really.

EMMA

Why? What's the matter?

JERRY

Hangover.

He raises his glass.

Cheers.

He drinks.

How are you?

EMMA

I'm fine.

She looks round the bar, back at him.

Just like old times.

JERRY

Mmn. It's been a long time.

EMMA

Yes.

Pause

I thought of you the other day.

JERRY

Good God. Why?

She laughs.

JERRY

Why?

EMMA

Well, it's nice, sometimes, to think back. Isn't it?

JERRY

Absolutely.

Pause

How's everything?

EMMA

Oh, not too bad.

Pause

Do you know how long it is since we met?

JERRY

Well I came to that private view, when was it –?

EMMA

No, I don't mean that.

JERRY

Oh you mean alone?

EMMA

Yes.

JERRY

Uuh …

EMMA

Two years.

JERRY

Yes, I thought it must be. Mmnn.

Pause

EMMA

Long time.

JERRY

Yes. It is.

Pause

How's it going? The Gallery?

EMMA

How do you think it's going?

JERRY

Well. Very well, I would say.

EMMA

I'm glad you think so. Well, it is, actually. I enjoy it.

JERRY

Funny lot, painters, aren't they?

EMMA

They're not at all funny.

JERRY

Aren't they? What a pity.

Pause

How's Robert?

EMMA

When did you last see him?

JERRY

I haven't seen him for months. Don't know why. Why?

EMMA

Why what?

JERRY

Why did you ask when I last saw him?

EMMA

I just wondered. How's Sam?

JERRY

You mean Judith.

EMMA

Do I?

JERRY

You remember the form. I ask about your husband, you ask about my wife.

EMMA

Yes, of course. How is your wife?

JERRY

All right.

Pause

EMMA

Sam must be … tall.

JERRY

He is tall. Quite tall. Does a lot of running. He's a long distance runner. He wants to be a zoologist.

EMMA

No, really? Good. And Sarah?

JERRY

She's ten.

EMMA

God. I suppose she must be.

JERRY

Yes, she must be.

Pause

Ned's five, isn't he?

EMMA

You remember.

JERRY

Well, I would remember that.

Pause

EMMA

Yes.

Pause

You're all right, though?

JERRY

Oh … yes, sure.

Pause

EMMA

Ever think of me?

JERRY

I don't need to think of you.

EMMA

Oh?

JERRY

I don't need to think of you.

Pause

Anyway I'm all right. How are you?

EMMA

Fine, really. All right.

JERRY

You're looking very pretty.

EMMA

Really? Thank you. I'm glad to see you.

JERRY

So am I. I mean to see you.

EMMA

You think of me sometimes?

JERRY

I think of you sometimes.

Pause

I saw Charlotte the other day.

EMMA

No? Where? She didn't mention it.

JERRY

She didn't see me. In the street.

EMMA

But you haven't seen her for years.

JERRY

I recognised her.

EMMA

How could you? How could you know?

JERRY

I did.

EMMA

What did she look like?

JERRY

You.

EMMA

No, what did you think of her, really?

JERRY

I thought she was lovely.

EMMA

Yes. She's very … She's smashing. She's thirteen.

Pause

Do you remember that time … oh god it was … when you picked her up and threw her up and caught her?

JERRY

She was very light.

EMMA

She remembers that, you know.

JERRY

Really?

EMMA

Mmnn. Being thrown up.

JERRY

What a memory.

Pause

She doesn't know … about us, does she?

EMMA

Of course not. She just remembers you, as an old friend.

JERRY

That's right.

Pause

Yes, everyone was there that day, standing around, your husband, my wife, all the kids, I remember.

EMMA

What day?

JERRY

When I threw her up. It was in your kitchen.

EMMA

It was in your kitchen.

Silence

JERRY

Darling.

EMMA

Don't say that.

Pause

It all …

JERRY

Seems such a long time ago.

EMMA

Does it?

JERRY

Same again?

He takes the glasses, goes to the bar. She sits still. He returns, with the drinks, sits.

EMMA

I thought of you the other day.

Pause

I was driving through Kilburn. Suddenly I saw where I was. I just stopped, and then I turned down Kinsale Drive and drove into Wessex Grove. I drove past the house and then stopped about fifty yards further on, like we used to do, do you remember?

JERRY

Yes.

EMMA

People were coming out of the house. They walked up the road.

JERRY

What sort of people?

EMMA

Oh … young people. Then I got out of the car and went up the steps. I looked at the bells, you know, the names on the bells. I looked for our name.

Pause

JERRY

Green.

Pause

Couldn't see it, eh?

EMMA

No.

JERRY

That's because we're not there any more. We haven't been there for years.

EMMA

No we haven't.

Pause

JERRY

I hear you're seeing a bit of Casey.

EMMA

What?

JERRY

Casey. I just heard you were … seeing a bit of him.

EMMA

Where did you hear that?

JERRY

Oh … people … talking.

EMMA

Christ.

JERRY

The funny thing was that the only thing I really felt was irritation, I mean irritation that nobody gossiped about us like that, in the old days. I nearly said, now look, she may be having the occasional drink with Casey, who cares, but she and I had an affair for seven years and none of you bastards had the faintest idea it was happening.

Pause

EMMA

I wonder. I wonder if everyone knew, all the time.

JERRY

Don't be silly. We were brilliant. Nobody knew. Who ever went to Kilburn in those days? Just you and me.

Pause

Anyway, what's all this about you and Casey?

EMMA

What do you mean?

JERRY

What's going on?

EMMA

We have the occasional drink.

JERRY

I thought you didn't admire his work.

EMMA

I've changed. Or his work has changed. Are you jealous?

JERRY

Of what?

Pause

I couldn't be jealous of Casey. I'm his agent. I advised him about his divorce. I read all his first drafts. I persuaded your husband to publish his first novel. I escort him to Oxford to speak at the Union. He's my … he's my boy. I discovered him when he was a poet, and that's a bloody long time ago now.

Pause

He's even taken me down to Southampton to meet his Mum and Dad. I couldn't be jealous of Casey. Anyway it's not as if we're having an affair now, is it? We haven't seen each other for years. Really, I'm very happy if you're happy.

Pause

What about Robert?

Pause

EMMA

Well … I think we're going to separate.

JERRY

Oh?

EMMA

We had a long talk … last night.

JERRY

Last night?

EMMA

You know what I found out … last night? He's betrayed me for years. He's had … other women for years.

JERRY

No? Good Lord.

Pause

But we betrayed him for years.

EMMA

And he betrayed me for years.

JERRY

Well I never knew that.

EMMA

Nor did I.

Pause

JERRY

Does Casey know about this?

EMMA

I wish you wouldn't keep calling him Casey. His name is Roger.

JERRY

Yes. Roger.

EMMA

I phoned you. I don't know why.

JERRY

What a funny thing. We were such close friends, weren't we? Robert and me, even though I haven't seen him for a few months, but through all those years, all the drinks, all the lunches … we had together, I never even gleaned … I never suspected … that there was anyone else … in his life but you. Never. For example, when you're with a fellow in a pub, or a restaurant, for example, from time to time he pops out for a piss, you see, who doesn't, but what I mean is, if he's making a crafty telephone call, you can sort of sense it. Well, I never did that with Robert. He never made any crafty telephone calls in any pub I was ever with him in. The funny thing is that it was me who made the calls – to you, when I left him boozing at the bar. That's the funny thing.

Pause

When did he tell you all this?

EMMA

Last night. I think we were up all night.

Pause

JERRY

You talked all night?

EMMA

Yes. Oh yes.

Pause

JERRY

I didn't come into it, did I?

EMMA

What?

JERRY

I just –

EMMA

I just phoned you this morning, you know, that's all, because I … because we're old friends … I've been up all night … the whole thing's finished … I suddenly felt I wanted to see you.

JERRY

Well, look, I'm happy to see you. I am. I'm sorry … about …

EMMA

Do you remember? I mean, you do remember?

JERRY

I remember.

Pause

EMMA

You couldn't really afford Wessex Grove when we took it, could you?

JERRY

Oh, love finds a way.

EMMA

I bought the curtains.

JERRY

You found a way.

EMMA

Listen, I didn't want to see you for nostalgia, I mean what's the point? I just wanted to see how you were. Truly. How are you?

JERRY

Oh what does it matter?

Pause

You didn't tell Robert about me last night, did you?

EMMA

I had to.

Pause

He told me everything. I told him everything. We were up … all night. At one point Ned came down. I had to take him up to bed, had to put him back to bed. Then I went down again. I think it was the voices woke him up. You know …

JERRY

You told him everything?

EMMA

I had to.

JERRY

You told him everything … about us?

EMMA

I had to.

Pause

JERRY

But he's my oldest friend. I mean, I picked his own daughter up in my own arms and threw her up and caught her, in my kitchen. He watched me do it.

EMMA

It doesn't matter. It's all gone.

JERRY

Is it? What has?

EMMA

It's all all over.

She drinks.