I love this book. Really. And not just because Betsy Polk and Maggie Ellis Chotas say nice things about my article, "Why Women Still Can't Have It All." But because they offer real, practical solutions to the dilemmas that face even the most ambitious and committed women among us. Indeed, our ambition and commitment both to what we do and the people we love are precisely what create so many competing demands on our time. In that context, many of us deflect or defer leadership positions at the top of big organizations, worrying that taking on responsibilities and duties to hundreds and thousands of people will tip the balance of our lives irrevocably and irremediably.
That is where partnership comes in. Listen to how Betsy and Maggie describe their own work. Looking around a café one morning at both stay-at-home moms and career women heading off to their daily commute, they reflected, "Our lives-filled with spouses, children and activity-were sane. We were leading the way we wanted to, on our own clocks, in cafes, at client sites, in our home offices, and even on trails, where we took long 'strategy talk' walks together. Thanks to our work together, as two women who each understood where the other was coming from, we were happy."
That is a vision that women (and men) should relate and aspire to. Why shouldn't we "lead the way we want to," making time for all the different parts of our lives and ourselves in ways that make us happier, healthier, and more productive? The trick, they say, is to find a partner, not only someone you can share burdens with and create the flexibility you so badly need, but also someone who will motivate you and hold you accountable.
I think the reason this book resonates so powerfully with me is that it taps the secret of much of my own success, certainly as a scholar. Early on, I found that if I took on a project with a co-author, I would not let that person down. I might have let myself down, deciding that obligations to committee work, teaching, or family were more important than scholarship. But I would never let down another person to whom I had made a commitment. So finding a partner was actually a way of making sure I did the things I knew I should really do for myself.
Partnership can be an important path to power for women. Read this book and take the plunge. You will be reinventing the work world and opening up to creating a whole new vista of opportunity for yourself along the way.
Anne-Marie Slaughter
President and CEO, New America
Author of "Why Women Still Can't Have It All,"
The Atlantic, June/July 2012.