Stop the thought Short-circuit negative messages as soon as they start by using the one-word command stop!
“What will I do if...”stop!
In theory,stopping is a simple technique.In practice,it‘s not as easy as it sounds.To be effective at stopping,you have to be forceful and tenacious.Raise your voice when you give the command.Picture yourself drowning out the inner voice of fear.
Accentuate the positive There’s a story about a man who went to a psychiatrist,“What‘s the trouble?”asked the doctor.“Two months ago my grandfather died and left me$75,000.Last month,a cousin passed away and left me$100,000.”
“Then why are you depressed?”
“This month,nothing!”
When a person is in a depressed mood,everything can seem depressing.So once you’ve exorcised the demons by calling a stop,replace them with good thoughts.
Reorient⑤yourself Have you ever been feeling down late in the day,when someone suddenly said,“Let‘s go out.”Remember how your spirits picked up?You changed the direction of your thinking,and your mood brightened.
停止悲观的想法一旦那些悲观思想向你袭来,要马上停止接收这种负面信息。只要有诸如“要是……,我该怎么办?”之类的想法,应马上终止去想。
理论上,停止去想说起来简单,可实际操作,就不如说起来那么容易。我们应善于制止悲观思想的滋生,应变得坚韧顽强。一旦决定抑制悲观思想,你得提高音量,想象着把内心的恐惧驱逐出去。
要有乐观积极的心态有一则故事是这样讲的一个人去看心理医生。医生问他:“怎么了?”“两个月前,我的祖父过世了,留给我7.5万美圆。上个月,我堂兄去世了,留给了我10万美圆。”
“那你为什么还这么沮丧?”
“但这个月,我什么也没有!”
一个人情绪低落时,他看什么都不顺。一旦这种消极思想从脑海中消除,一种积极上进的思想便会取而代之。
转移注意力你曾在工作一天后情绪不佳吗?此时,会突然有人提出“我们出去玩”之类的话吗还记得你的心情是怎样调动起来的吗?把思维的角度转个方向,你就豁然开朗了。
生词一角
①agitated adj.焦虑的
②sabotage v.破坏
③squandering v.浪费
④catastrophes n.灾难
⑤reorient v.使适应;再定方向
Learning to Accept Yourself
学会接受自己
Anonymous/佚名
We are not born doubting ourselves.We learn to do it.In fact,we are usually taught to doubt ourselves.Often we are taught to do so by otherwise well-meaning people who are passing along their own doubts and uncertainties and who believe they are being protective and caring.What these people (usually parents and other significant adults)want are strong,capable and self-confident people,but they often inadvertently teach us thought processes that lead to something else.That‘s the bad news.The good news is that we can understand some of these processes and learn new ways of coping that allow us to become more accepting of ourselves.Following are six behaviors you may have learned that can be unlearned and allow you to move toward greater self-acceptance.
自我怀疑并非天性,而是后天学来的。事实上,怀疑自己通常是被教化的结果。那些教化者往往正经历困惑和犹疑,他们善意地以为自己是出于保护和关爱,他们(通常是父母或其他重要的长辈)希望我们成为强壮、能干和自信的人。但不经意间,他们教导我们思考的方式却常常导致不良的后果。可喜的是,我们可以理解这种方式,并学习新的方式以更好地接受自我。以下有六种行为可以帮你增强自我认可度,你可能学过但并不一定完全理解。
Moralistic①Self-judgment One way to really dislike yourself is to always judge yourself in a very moralistic way.People often spend a lot of time and energy labeling their behavior with moral adjectives such as “bad”,“hateful”and “mean.”When you apply these kinds of words to yourself you make liking yourself much more difficult.There is a more productive way of looking at yourself that will allow you to begin to like yourself more.Instead of evaluating yourself in this moralistic way,begin to ask questions like:“Did I do what I really wanted to do in this situation?How can I correct the misunderstanding that occurred?”In other words,you can start to view what you’ve done as productive or non-productive rather than as good or bad.If something is non-productive,you can focus on what you have learned from it and try another approach that might be more productive.
说教式的自我评价用说教的方式进行自我评价确是令人自暴自弃的一种方式。人们经常耗费大量时间和精力用这样的形容词来评定自己:“差劲”、“可恶”和“低劣”。如果你用这些词来形容自己,想要自我认可是非常困难的。有这样一种方式可以让你更欣赏自己,不是用说教式的自责,而是开始问自己一些这样的问题:“在这种情形下,我是在做自己真正想做的事吗?”“我要怎样消除误会呢?”换言之,你开始用有无成效来看待问题,而不是用好坏来评判。如果某事没有成效,你可以集中精神吸取教训,并尝试其他的方法以取得更大的成效。
Over-generalizing Another thing that might cause you not to accept yourself is over-generalizing about something you‘ve done that you don’t like.So,for example,if you fail a test you might generalize and say,“I‘m really a stupid person.”When you do this you are making a statement about all of you all of the time and not just about this one situation at this time.Instead,you might decide that your grade on this test in this subject at this time was indeed poor,and then go on to decide what you want to do about your poor grade,if anything.Getting stuck in over-generalizing discourages you from taking steps that might allow you to do better on the next exam and builds an expectation of future failure.
以偏概全导致你无法接受自己的另一种情况是,你对自己做过却并不喜欢的事“以偏概全”。比如说,如果某次考试不及格,你可能会说,“我真是个傻瓜。”你这样评价其实是对自己过去和未来的全盘否定,而不是针对时下的情况。相反,你应该先明确这个科目的分数在这次考试中确实少得可怜,然后,再决定要怎么应对。以偏概全只会打消你的积极性,让你无法在下一次考试中进步,同时会丧失对未来的信心。