Ihad become completely exhausted by pain and long vigilance,and one night was carried to a building about two blocks from our home.As Ilay helpless there,Ithought that if my mother died while Iwas away from her bedside she would surely give me a sign.Two or three months before Iwas in London in company with my late friend,Sir William Crookes,when spiritualism was discussed,and Iwas under the full sway of these thoughts.Imight not have paid attention to other men,but was susceptible to his arguments as it was his epochal work on radiant matter,which Ihad read as a student,that made me embrace the electrical career.Ireflected that the conditions for a look into the beyond were most favorable,for my mother was a woman of genius and particularly excelling in the powers of intuition.During the whole night every fiber in my brain was strained in expectancy,but nothing happened until early in the morning,when Ifell in a sleep,or perhaps a swoon,and saw a cloud carrying angelic figures of marvelous beauty,one of whom gazed upon me lovingly and gradually assumed the features of my mother.The appearance slowly floated across the room and vanished,and Iwas awakened by an indescribably sweet song of many voices.In that instant a certitude,which no words can express,came upon me that my mother had just died.And that was true.Iwas unable to understand the tremendous weight of the painful knowledge Ireceived in advance,and wrote a letter to Sir William Crookes while still under the domination of these impressions and in poor bodily health.
When Irecovered Isought for a long time the external cause of this strange manifestation and,to my great relief,Isucceeded after many months of fruitless effort.Ihad seen the painting of a celebrated artist,representing allegorically one of the seasons in the form of a cloud with a group of angels which seemed to actually float in the air,and this had struck me forcefully.It was exactly the same that appeared in my dream,with the exception of my mother"s likeness.The music came from the choir in the church nearby at the early mass of Easter morning,explaining everything satisfactorily in conformity with scientific facts.
This occurred long ago,and Ihave never had the faintest reason since to change my views on psychical and spiritual phenomena,for which there is absolutely no foundation.The belief in these is the natural outgrowth of intellectual development.Religious dogmas are no longer accepted in their orthodox meaning,but every individual clings to faith in a supreme power of some kind.We all must have an ideal to govern our conduct and insure contentment,but it is immaterial whether it be one of creed,art,science or anything else,so long as it fulfills the function of a dematerializing force.It is essential to the peaceful existence of humanity as a whole that one common conception should prevail.
While Ihave failed to obtain any evidence in support of the contentions of psychologists and spiritualists,Ihave proved to my complete satisfaction the automatism of life,not only through continuous observations of individual actions,but even more conclusively through certain generalizations.These amount to a discovery which Iconsider of the greatest moment to human society,and on which Ishall briefly dwell.Igot the first inkling of this astounding truth when Iwas still a very young man,but for many years Iinterpreted what Inoted simply as coincidences.Namely,whenever either myself or a person to whom Iwas attached,or a cause to which Iwas devoted,was hurt by others in a particular way,which might be best popularly characterized as the most unfair imaginable,Iexperienced a singular and undefinable pain which,for want of a better term,Ihave qualified as "cosmic"and shortly thereafter,and invariably,those who had inflicted it came to grief.After many such cases Iconfided this to a number of friends,who had the opportunity to convince themselves of the truth of the theory which Ihave gradually formulated and which may be stated in the following few words:
Our bodies are of similar construction and exposed to the same external influences.This results in likeness of response and concordance of the general activities on which all our social and other rules and laws are based.We are automata entirely controlled by the forces of the medium being tossed about like corks on the surface of the water,but mistaking the resultant of the impulses from the outside for free will.The movements and other actions we perform are always life preservative and tho seemingly quite independent from one another,we are connected by invisible links.So long as the organism is in perfect order it responds accurately to the agents that prompt it,but the moment that there is some derangement in any individual,his self-preservative power is impaired.
Everybody understands,of course,that if one becomes deaf,has his eyesight weakened,or his limbs injured,the chances for his continued existence are lessened.But this is also true,and perhaps more so,of certain defects in the brain which deprive the automaton,more or less,of that vital quality and cause it to rush into destruction.Avery sensitive and observant being,with his highly developed mechanism all intact,and acting with precision in obedience to the changing conditions of the environment,is endowed with a transcending mechanical sense,enabling him to evade perils too subtle to be directly perceived.When he comes in contact with others whose controlling organs are radically faulty,that sense asserts itself and he feels the "cosmic"pain.The truth of this has been borne out in hundreds of instances and Iam inviting other students of nature to devote attention to this subject,believing that thru combined and systematic effort results of incalculable value to the world will be attained.