如果我是一名经理
The reason of being late
Teacher：Johnny，why are you late for school every morning？
Johnny：Every time I come to the corner，a guidepost says，‘School — Go Slow’.
迟到的原因
老师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到？
约翰尼：每次我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着‘学校——缓行’。
It's kind of fitting
As a freshman at the University of Dayton in Ohio，I was eager to make a good impression on my new roommate. When I arrived at our dorm room，I found her putting on perfume. “That's a great scent，” I said，making conversation.
“Thanks-it was from my boyfriend. Here，try some，” she said，holding the bottle out for me.
Unfortunately she let go before I had a firm grip，and the glass shattered on the tile floor. Embarrassed，I tried to apologize，but she cut me off - “Actually，it's kind of fitting，” she explained，surveying the damage. “That's exactly how the relationship went.”
理应如此
作为俄亥俄州代顿大学的一名新生，我急于给我的新舍友留个好印象。我到了寝室，看到她正在往身上洒香水。“这香味真棒啊。”我说，想和她搭起话来。
“谢谢——是男朋友送的，来，洒些试试。”她说着把瓶子递给我。
不幸的是，我还没抓牢她就松手了，玻璃瓶在瓷砖地板上摔碎了。我感到很窘，刚想道歉，她就打断了我。“事实上，应该如此。”
她解释道，一边审视着地上的碎渣，“我和他的关系正是这样的。”
Kate：Mom，do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday？
Mom：No，Honey，what？
Kate：A nice teapot.
Mom：But I've got a nice teapot.
Kate：No，you haven't. I've just dropped it.
凯特：妈妈，你知道我要送你一件什么生日礼物吗？
妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀？
凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。
妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。
凯特：不，你没有。我刚刚把它给摔坏了。
whose father was the stronger
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said，“Well，you know the Pacific Ocean ？My father's the one who dug the hole for it.”
Bill wasn't impressed，“Well，that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ？My father's the one who killed it！”
谁的爸爸是最强壮的
维尔和比尔为谁的爸爸更强壮而争吵不休。维尔说：“你知道太平洋吗？那个坑是我爸爸挖的。”
比尔不屑地说：“那没什么。你知道死海吗？那是我爸爸打死的。”
If I am a manager
One day in class，the teacher assigned his students to write a composition–If I Am a Manager.
All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.
“I am waiting for my secretary，” was the boy's answer.
如果我是一名经理
有一天在课堂上，老师要同学们以“如果我是一名经理”为题写一篇作文。
所有的学生都在动笔写了，只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。
“我在等我的秘书”，男生答道。
单词&词组
guidepost [5^aIdpEJst] n.路标，路牌
perfume [5pE：fju：m] n.香味，芳香，香水
grip [^rip] n.紧握，紧夹
It's kind of fitting. 理应如此。
assign [E5sain] vt.分配，指派
composition [kCmpE5ziFEn] n.写作，作文，成分，合成物
secretary [5sekrEtri] n.秘书，书记，部长，大臣
知道不知道
a dead sea apple=apple of Sodom，源自《圣约·旧约·创世纪》。据载，所多玛（Sodom）是古代死海（Dead Sea）附近的城市。由于那里的居民罪孽深重，上帝降天火焚毁所多玛后，在焦土上长出了苹果树，结出的果子外观诱人，但一摘就冒烟成灰。所以，apple of Sodom就被用来喻指“华而不实，徒有虚表的东西”。