新生儿
Have you ceased beating your wife
This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent's witnesses．
One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations．
“I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel．“There is no need for you to argue the point！”
“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness．
“There are not！” snapped the lawyer．
“Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife？”
你停止打你妻子了吗？
这个故事讲的是一个咄咄逼人的辩护律师，他惯于设法恐吓对方的证人。
有一个证人习惯于在回答问题之前先做番冗长的解释。
“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’，”辩护律师怒喝道：“你没有必要就这个问题进行辩论。”
“可是有些问题无法用‘是’或者‘不是’来回答。”这位证人温和地回敬他。
“不存在这样的问题！”律师愚蠢地厉声说。
“噢，”证人说：“那么回答这个问题：你停止打你妻子了吗？”
The new baby
Mr. and Mrs. Taylor had a seven-year-old boy named Pat. Now Mrs. Taylor was expecting another child.
Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much，so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too.
One evening Mr. and Mrs. Taylor were making plans for the baby's arrival. “This house won't be big enough for us all when the baby comes，” said Mr. Taylor.
Pat came into the room just then and said，“What are you talking about？”“We were saying that we'll have to move to another house now，because the new baby's coming，” his mother answered.
“It's no use，” said Pat hopelessly，“He'll follow us there.”
新生儿
泰勒夫妇有一个七岁的男孩，名叫帕特。现在泰勒太太正怀着第二胎。
帕特在别人家看见过婴儿，他不太喜欢他们，所以他对自己家里也将有一个婴儿的消息感到不满。
一天晚上，泰勒夫妇正在为这个婴儿的降生计划做安排。泰勒先生说：“有了婴儿，我们的房子就太小，不够住了。”
帕特恰好在这个时候走进屋，他问：“你们在说什么？”他的母亲回答说：“我们在说我们得搬家，因为婴儿就要诞生了。”
“搬了房子也不够用，”帕特绝望地说，“他也会跟我们到那儿去的。”
Midway tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying，“Gigantic Sale！” and “Super Bargains！”
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming，“Prices Slashed！” and “Fantastic Discounts！”
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated，“ENTRANCE”.
中间战术
三个互相抢生意的商店老板在一个购物中心里租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价！”“特便宜！”
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大削价！”“超折扣！”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
“Excuse me，but the seat you've taken is mine.”
“Yours？Can you prove it？”
“Yes，I put a cup of ice cream on it.”
“请原谅，你占了我的位置。”
“你的位置？你能证明这点吗？”
“能，我在座位上放了杯冰激凌。”
单词&词组
delight [di5lait] n.快乐，高兴，喜悦
hopelessly [5hoplisli] adv.无望地，绝望地
adjoin [E'dV？in] v.邻接，毗连
mayhem [5meihem] n.伤害罪之一种，故意的伤害罪
ensue [in5sju：] vi.跟着发生，继起
proclaim [prE5kleim] vt.宣布，声明，显示，显露
slash [slAF] v. 猛砍，鞭打，砍伤
discount [5diskaunt] n.折扣
entrance [5entrEns] n.入口，门口，进入
知道不知道
律师的说法有多少种
lawyer也是attorney，solicitor，barrister，counselor ( or counselor)，advocate等的通称。
attorney 代理人、（小）律师、讼师、辩护士。用法：an attorney represents his client–律师代表当事人，美式英语用法。早期在英国指检察总长；在美国则为司法部长。
solicitor 英国-初级律师 ；美国-法务官
barrister 英国-大律师、辩护士
counsellor ( or counselor) 英国-大律师、私人顾问；爱尔兰、美国-辩护士
advocate 辩护士、代言人、拥护者、提倡者
The Bar （法庭中的）围栏；律师职、律师界