Brough, sir, would canvass and wheedle a chimney-sweep in the way of business. See, here is poor Tidd and his twenty thousand pounds. Our Director has taken possession of him just in the same way. He wants all the capital he can lay his hands on.""Yes, and suppose he runs off with the capital?""Mr. Brough, of the firm of Brough and Hoff, sir? Suppose the Bank of England runs off! But here we are at the lodge-gate. Let's ask Gates, another of Mr. Brough's victims." And we went in and spoke to old Gates.
"Well, Mr. Gates," says I, beginning the matter cleverly, "you are one of my masters, you know, at the West Diddlesex yonder?""Yees, sure," says old Gates, grinning. He was a retired servant, with a large family come to him in his old age.
"May I ask you what your wages are, Mr. Gates, that you can lay by so much money, and purchase shares in our Company?"Gates told us his wages; and when we inquired whether they were paid regularly, swore that his master was the kindest gentleman in the world: that he had put two of his daughters into service, two of his sons to charity schools, made one apprentice, and narrated a hundred other benefits that he had received from the family. Mrs.
Brough clothed half the children; master gave them blankets and coats in winter, and soup and meat all the year round. There never was such a generous family, sure, since the world began.
"Well, sir," said I to the Captain, "does that satisfy you? Mr.
Brough gives to these people fifty times as much as he gains from them; and yet he makes Mr. Gates take shares in our Company.""Mr. Titmarsh," says the Captain, "you are an honest fellow; and Iconfess your argument sounds well. Now tell me, do you know anything about Miss Brough and her fortune?""Brough will leave her everything--or says so." But I suppose the Captain saw some particular expression in my countenance, for he laughed and said -"I suppose, my dear fellow, you think she's dear at the price.
Well, I don't know that you are far wrong.""Why, then, if I may make so bold, Captain Fizgig, are you always at her heels?""Mr. Titmarsh," says the Captain, "I owe twenty thousand pounds;"and he went back to the house directly, and proposed for her.
I thought this rather cruel and unprincipled conduct on the gentleman's part; for he had been introduced to the family by Mr.
Tidd, with whom he had been at school, and had supplanted Tidd entirely in the great heiress's affections. Brough stormed, and actually swore at his daughter (as the Captain told me afterwards)when he heard that the latter had accepted Mr. Fizgig; and at last, seeing the Captain, made him give his word that the engagement should be kept secret for a few months. And Captain F. only made a confidant of me, and the mess, as he said: but this was after Tidd had paid his twenty thousand pounds over to our governor, which he did punctually when he came of age. The same day, too, he proposed for the young lady, and I need not say was rejected. Presently the Captain's engagement began to be whispered about: all his great relations, the Duke of Doncaster, the Earl of Cinqbars, the Earl of Crabs, &c. came and visited the Brough family; the Hon. Henry Ringwood became a shareholder in our Company, and the Earl of Crabs offered to be. Our shares rose to a premium; our Director, his lady, and daughter were presented at Court; and the great West Diddlesex Association bid fair to be the first Assurance Office in the kingdom.
A very short time after my visit to Fulham, my dear aunt wrote to me to say that she had consulted with her attorneys, Messrs. Hodge and Smithers, who strongly recommended that she should invest the sum as I advised. She had the sum invested, too, in my name, paying me many compliments upon my honesty and talent; of which, she said, Mr. Brough had given her the most flattering account.
And at the same time my aunt informed me that at her death the shares should be my own. This gave me a great weight in the Company, as you may imagine. At our next annual meeting, Iattended in my capacity as a shareholder, and had great pleasure in hearing Mr. Brough, in a magnificent speech, declare a dividend of six per cent., that we all received over the counter.
"You lucky young scoundrel!" said Brough to me; "do you know what made me give you your place?""Why, my aunt's money, to be sure, sir," said I.
"No such thing. Do you fancy I cared for those paltry three thousand pounds? I was told you were nephew of Lady Drum; and Lady Drum is grandmother of Lady Jane Preston; and Mr. Preston is a man who can do us a world of good. I knew that they had sent you venison, and the deuce knows what; and when I saw Lady Jane at my party shake you by the hand, and speak to you so kindly, I took all Abednego's tales for gospel. THAT was the reason you got the place, mark you, and not on account of your miserable three thousand pounds. Well, sir, a fortnight after you were with us at Fulham, I met Preston in the House, and made a merit of having given the place to his cousin. 'Confound the insolent scoundrel!'
said he; 'HE my cousin! I suppose you take all old Drum's stories for true? Why, man, it's her mania: she never is introduced to a man but she finds out a cousinship, and would not fail of course with that cur of a Titmarsh!' 'Well,' said I, laughing, 'that cur has got a good place in consequence, and the matter can't be mended.' So you see," continued our Director, "that you were indebted for your place, not to your aunt's money, but--""But to MY AUNT'S DIAMOND PIN!"
"Lucky rascal!" said Brough, poking me in the side and going out of the way. And lucky, in faith, I thought I was.