Enter SIR THOMAS LOVELL
How now?What news,Sir Thomas Lovell?LOVELL.Faith,my lord,I hear of none but the new proclamation That's clapp'd upon the court gate.CHAMBERLAIN.What is't for?LOVELL.The reformation of our travell'd gallants,That fill the court with quarrels,talk,and tailors.CHAMBERLAIN.I am glad 'tis there.Now I would pray our monsieurs To think an English courtier may be wise,And never see the Louvre.LOVELL.They must either,For so run the conditions,leave those remnants Of fool and feather that they got in France,With all their honourable points of ignorance Pertaining thereunto--as fights and fireworks;Abusing better men than they can be,Out of a foreign wisdom--renouncing clean The faith they have in tennis,and tall stockings,Short blist'red breeches,and those types of travel And understand again like honest men,Or pack to their old playfellows.There,I take it,They may,cum privilegio,wear away The lag end of their lewdness and be laugh'd at.SANDYS.'Tis time to give 'em physic,their diseases Are grown so catching.CHAMBERLAIN.What a loss our ladies Will have of these trim vanities!LOVELL.Ay,marry,There will be woe indeed,lords:the sly whoresons Have got a speeding trick to lay down ladies.A French song and a fiddle has no fellow.SANDYS.The devil fiddle 'em!I am glad they are going,For sure there's no converting 'em.Now An honest country lord,as I am,beaten A long time out of play,may bring his plainsong And have an hour of hearing;and,by'r Lady,Held current music too.CHAMBERLAIN.Well said,Lord Sandys;Your colt's tooth is not cast yet.SANDYS.No,my lord,Nor shall not while I have a stamp.CHAMBERLAIN.Sir Thomas,Whither were you a-going?LOVELL.To the Cardinal's;Your lordship is a guest too.CHAMBERLAIN.O,'tis true;This night he makes a supper,and a great one,To many lords and ladies;there will be The beauty of this kingdom,I'll assure you.LOVELL.That churchman bears a bounteous mind indeed,A hand as fruitful as the land that feeds us;His dews fall everywhere.CHAMBERLAIN.No doubt he's noble;He had a black mouth that said other of him.SANDYS.He may,my lord;has wherewithal.In him Sparing would show a worse sin than ill doctrine:Men of his way should be most liberal,They are set here for examples.CHAMBERLAIN.True,they are so;But few now give so great ones.My barge stays;Your lordship shall along.Come,good Sir Thomas,We shall be late else;which I would not be,For I was spoke to,with Sir Henry Guildford,This night to be comptrollers.SANDYS.I am your lordship's.Exeunt
SCENE 4.London.The Presence Chamber in York Place
Hautboys.A small table under a state for the Cardinal,a longer table for the guests.Then enter ANNE BULLEN,and divers other LADIES and GENTLEMEN,as guests,at one door;at another door enter SIR HENRY GUILDFORD
GUILDFORD.Ladies,a general welcome from his Grace Salutes ye all;this night he dedicates To fair content and you.None here,he hopes,In all this noble bevy,has brought with her One care abroad;he would have all as merry As,first,good company,good wine,good welcome,Can make good people.
Enter LORD CHAMBERLAIN,LORD SANDYS,and SIR THOMAS LOVELL
O,my lord,y'are tardy,The very thought of this fair company Clapp'd wings to me.CHAMBERLAIN.You are young,Sir Harry Guildford.SANDYS.Sir Thomas Lovell,had the Cardinal But half my lay thoughts in him,some of these Should find a running banquet ere they rested I think would better please 'em.By my life,They are a sweet society of fair ones.LOVELL.O that your lordship were but now confessor To one or two of these!SANDYS.I would I were;They should find easy penance.LOVELL.Faith,how easy?SANDYS.As easy as a down bed would afford it.CHAMBERLAIN.Sweet ladies,will it please you sit?Sir Harry,Place you that side;I'll take the charge of this.His Grace is ent'ring.Nay,you must not freeze:Two women plac'd together makes cold weather.My Lord Sandys,you are one will keep 'em waking:Pray sit between these ladies.SANDYS.By my faith,And thank your lordship.By your leave,sweet ladies.[Seats himself between ANNE BULLEN and another lady]If I chance to talk a little wild,forgive me;I had it from my father.ANNE.Was he mad,sir?SANDYS.O,very mad,exceeding mad,in love too.But he would bite none;just as I do now,He would kiss you twenty with a breath.[Kisses her]CHAMBERLAIN.Well said,my lord.So,now y'are fairly seated.Gentlemen,The penance lies on you if these fair ladies Pass away frowning.SANDYS.For my little cure,Let me alone.