书城公版The Autobiography of Charles Darwin
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第4章

The instruction at Edinburgh was altogether by lectures, and thesewere intolerably dull, with the exception of those on chemistry by Hope; but to my mind there are no advantages and many disadvantages in lectures compared with reading.Dr.Duncan's lectures on Materia Medica at 8 o'clock on a winter's morning are something fearful to remember.Dr.-- made his lectures on human anatomy as dull as he was himself, and the subject disgusted me.It has proved one of the greatest evils in my life that I was not urged to practise dissection, for I should soon have got over my disgust; and the practice would have been invaluable for all my future work.This has been an irremediable evil, as well as my incapacity to draw.I also attended regularly the clinical wards in the hospital.Some of the cases distressed me a good deal, and I still have vivid pictures before me of some of them; but I was not so foolish as to allow this to lessen my attendance.I cannot understand why this part of my medical course did not interest me in a greater degree; for during the summer before coming to Edinburgh I began attending some of the poor people, chiefly children and women in Shrewsbury: I wrote down as full an account as I could of the case with all the symptoms, and read them aloud to my father, who suggested further inquiries and advised me what medicines to give, which I made up myself.At one time I had at least a dozen patients, and I felt a keen interest in the work.My father, who was by far the best judge of character whom I ever knew, declared that I should make a successful physician,--meaning by this one who would get many patients.He maintained that the chief element of success was exciting confidence; but what he saw in me which convinced him that I should create confidence I know not.I also attended on two occasions the operating theatre in the hospital at Edinburgh, and saw two very bad operations, one on a child, but I rushed away before they were completed.Nor did I ever attend again, for hardly any inducement would have been strong enough to make me do so; this being long before the blessed days of chloroform.The two cases fairly haunted me for many a long year.

My brother stayed only one year at the University, so that during the second year I was left to my own resources; and this was an advantage, for I became well acquainted with several young men fond of natural science.

One of these was Ainsworth, who afterwards published his travels in Assyria; he was a Wernerian geologist, and knew a little about many subjects.Dr.Coldstream was a very different young man, prim, formal, highly religious, and most kind-hearted; he afterwards published some good zoological articles.A third young man was Hardie, who would, I think, have made a good botanist, but died early in India.Lastly, Dr.Grant, my senior by several years, but how I became acquainted with him I cannot remember; he published some first- rate zoological papers, but after coming to London as Professor in University College, he did nothing more in science, a fact which has always been inexplicable to me.I knew him well; he was dry and formal in manner, with much enthusiasm beneath this outer crust.He one day, when we were walking together, burst forth in high admiration of Lamarck and his views on evolution.I listened in silent astonishment, and as far as I can judge without any effect on my mind.I had previously read the 'Zoonomia' of my grandfather, in which similar views are maintained, but without producing any effect on me.Nevertheless it is probable that the hearing rather early in life such views maintained and praised may have favoured my upholding them under a different form in my 'Origin of Species.' At this time I admired greatly the 'Zoonomia;' but on reading it a second time after an interval of ten or fifteen years, I was much disappointed; the proportion of speculation being so large to the facts given.

Drs.Grant and Coldstream attended much to marine Zoology, and I often accompanied the former to collect animals in the tidal pools, which I dissected as well as I could.I also became friends with some of the Newhaven fishermen, and sometimes accompanied them when they trawled for oysters, and thus got many specimens.But from not having had any regular practice in dissection, and from possessing only a wretched microscope, my attempts were very poor.Nevertheless I made one interesting little discovery, and read, about the beginning of the year 1826, a short paper on the subject before the Plinian Society.This was that the so-called ova of Flustra had the power of independent movement by means of cilia, and were in fact larvae.In another short paper I showed that the little globular bodies which had been supposed to be theyoung state of Fucus loreus were the egg-cases of the wormlike Pontobdella muricata.

The Plinian Society was encouraged and, I believe, founded by Professor Jameson: it consisted of students and met in an underground room in the University for the sake of reading papers on natural science and discussing them.I used regularly to attend, and the meetings had a good effect on me in stimulating my zeal and giving me new congenial acquaintances.One evening a poor young man got up, and after stammering for a prodigious length of time, blushing crimson, he at last slowly got out the words, "Mr.President, I have forgotten what I was going to say." The poor fellow looked quite overwhelmed, and all the members were so surprised that no one could think of a word to say to cover his confusion.The papers which were read to our little society were not printed, so that I had not the satisfaction of seeing my paper in print; but I believe Dr.Grant noticed my small discovery in his excellent memoir on Flustra.