What's the matter with it?--why, this ain't South America...Yes, I like the mixed best--Friday?--awfully sorry, but I take my jiu-jitsu lesson on Friday--Thursday, then...Thanks--that's sixteen times I've been told that this morning--I guess I must be beautiful...Cut that out, please--who do you think I am?...
Why, Mr.Westbrook--do you really think so?--the idea!--one--eighty and twenty's a dollar--thank you ever so much, but I don't ever go automobile riding with gentlemen--your aunt?--well, that's different--perhaps...Please don't get fresh--your check was fifteen cents, I believe--kindly step aside and let...Hello, Ben--coming around Thursday evening?--there's a gentleman going to send around a box of chocolates, and...forty and sixty is a dollar, and one is two..."About the middle of one afternoon the dizzy goddess Vertigo--whose other name is Fortune--suddenly smote an old, wealthy and eccentric banker while he was walking past Hinkle's, on his way to a street car.A wealthy and eccentric banker who rides in street cars is--move up, please; there are others.
A Samaritan, A Pharisee, a man and a policeman who were first on the spot lifter Banker McRamsey and carried him into Hinkle's restaurant.When the aged but indestructible banker opened his eyes he saw a beautikful vision bending over him with a pitiful, tender smile, bathing his forehead with beef tea and chafing his hands with something frapp'e out of a chafing-dish.Mr.McRamsey sighed, lost a vest button, gazed with deep gratitude upon his fair preserveress, and then recovered consciousness.
To the Seaside Library all who are anticipating a romance! Banker McRamsey had an aged and respected wife, and his sentiments toward Miss Merriam were fatherly.He talked to her for half an hour with interest--not the kind that went with his talks during business hours.The next day he brought Mrs.McRamsey down to see her.The old couple were childless--they had only a married daughter living in Brooklyn.
To make a short story shorter, the beautiful cashier won the hearts of the good old couple.They came to Hinkle's again and again;they invited her to their old-fashioned but splendid home in one of the East Seventies.Miss Merriam's winning loveliness, her sweet frankness and impulsive heart took them by storm.They said a hundred times that Miss Merriam reminded them so much of their lost daughter.The Brooklyn matron, n'ee Ramsey, had the figure of Buddha and a face like the ideal of an art photographer.Miss Merriam was a combination of curves, smiles, rose leaves, pearls, satin and hair-tonic posters.Enough of the fatuity of parents.
A month after the worthy couple became acquainted with Miss Merriam, she stood before Hinkle one afternoon and resigned her cashiership.
"They're going to adopt me," she told the bereft restaurateur.
"They're funny old people, but regular dears.And the swell home they have got! Say, Hinkle, there isn't any use of talking--I'm on the `a la carte to wear brown duds and goggles in a whiz wagon, or marry a duke at least.Still, I somehow hate to break out of the old cage.I've been cashiering so long I feel funny doing anything else.
I'll miss joshing the fellows awfully when they line up to pay for the buckwheats and.But I can't let this chance slide.And they're awfully good, Hinkle; I know I'll have a swell time.You owe me nine-sixty-two and a half for the week.Cut out the half if it hurts you, Hinkle."And they did.Miss Merriam became Miss Rosa McRamsey.And she graced the transition.Beauty is only skin-deep, but the nerves lie very near to the skin.Nerve--but just here will you oblige by perusing again the quotation with which this story begins?
The McRamseys poured out money like domestic champagne to polish their adopted one.Milliners, dancing masters and private tutors got it.Miss--er--McRamsey was grateful, loving, and tried to forget Hinkle's.To give ample credit to the adaptability of the American girl, Hinkle's did fade from her memory and speech most of the time.
Not every one will remember when the Earl of Hitesbury came to East Seventy---Street, America.He was only a fair-to-medium earl, without debts, and he created little excitement.But you will surely remember the evening when the Daughters of Benevolence haled their bazaar in the W---f-A---a Hotel.For you were there, and you wrote a note to Fannie on the hotel paper, and mailed it, just to show her that--you did not? Very well; that was the evening the baby was sick, of course.
At the bazaar the McRamseys were prominent.Miss Mer--er--McRamsey was exquisitely beautiful.The Earl of Hitesbury had been very attentive to her since he dropped in to have a look at America.
At the charity bazaar the affair was supposed to be going to be pulled off to a finish.An earl is as good as a duke.Better.
His standing may be lower, but his outstanding accounts are also lower.
Our ex-young-lady-cashier was assigned to a booth.She was expected to sell worthless articles to nobs and snobs at exorbitant prices.The proceeds of the bazaar were to be used for giving the poor children of the slums a Christmas din---Say! did you ever wonder where they get the other 364?
Miss McRamsey--beautiful, palpitating, excited, charming, radiant--fluttered about in her booth.An imitation brass network, with a little arched opening, fenced her in.
Along came the Earl, assured, delicate, accurate, admiring--admiring greatly, and faced the open wicket.
"You look chawming, you know--'pon my word you do--my deah," he said, beguilingly.
"Cut that joshing out," she said, coolly and briskly."Who do you think you are talking to? Your check, please.Oh, Lordy!--"Patrons of the bazaar became aware of a commotion and pressed around a certain booth.The Earl of Hitesbury stood near by pulling a pale blond and puzzled whisker.
"Miss McRamsey has fainted," some one explained.