书城公版NORTH AND SOUTH
5414400000190

第190章 CHANGES AT MILTON (3)

knowed she had a brother?' 'Yes, I know all about him. And he was over at Mrs. Hale's death?' 'Nay! I'm not going for to tell more. I've maybe getten them into mischief already, for they kept it very close. I nobbut wanted to know if they'd getten him cleared?' 'Not that I know of. I know nothing. I only hear of Miss Hale, now, as my landlord, and through her lawyer.' He broke off from Higgins, to follow the business on which he had been bent when the latter first accosted him; leaving Higgins baffled in his endeavour. 'It was her brother,' said Mr. Thornton to himself. 'I am glad. I may never see her again; but it is a comfort--a relief--to know that much. I knew she could not be unmaidenly; and yet I yearned for conviction. Now I am glad!' It was a little golden thread running through the dark web of his present fortunes; which were growing ever gloomier and more gloomy. His agent had largely trusted a house in the American trade, which went down, along with several others, just at this time, like a pack of cards, the fall of one compelling other failures. What were Mr. Thornton's engagements? Could he stand? Night after night he took books and papers into his own private room, and sate up there long after the family were gone to bed. He thought that no one knew of this occupation of the hours he should have spent in sleep.

One morning, when daylight was stealing in through the crevices of his shutters, and he had never been in bed, and, in hopeless indifference of mind, was thinking that he could do without the hour or two of rest, which was all that he should be able to take before the stir of daily labour began again, the door of his room opened, and his mother stood there, dressed as she had been the day before. She had never laid herself down to slumber any more than he. Their eyes met. Their faces were cold and rigid, and wan, from long watching. 'Mother! why are not you in bed?' 'Son John,' said she, 'do you think I can sleep with an easy mind, while you keep awake full of care? You have not told me what your trouble is;but sore trouble you have had these many days past.' 'Trade is bad.' 'And you dread----' 'I dread nothing,' replied he, drawing up his head, and holding it erect.

'I know now that no man will suffer by me. That was my anxiety.' 'But how do you stand? Shall you--will it be a failure?' her steady voice trembling in an unwonted manner. 'Not a failure. I must give up business, but I pay all men. I might redeem myself--I am sorely tempted--' 'How? Oh, John! keep up your name--try all risks for that. How redeem it?' 'By a speculation offered to me, full of risk; but, if successful, placing me high above water-mark, so that no one need ever know the strait I am in. Still, if it fails--' 'And if it fails,' said she, advancing, and laying her hand on his arm, her eyes full of eager light. She held her breath to hear the end of his speech. 'Honest men are ruined by a rogue,' said he gloomily. 'As I stand now, my creditors, money is safe--every farthing of it; but I don't know where to find my own--it may be all gone, and I penniless at this moment. Therefore, it is my creditors' money that I should risk.' 'But if it succeeded, they need never know. Is it so desperate a speculation?

I am sure it is not, or you would never have thought of it. If it succeeded--' 'I should be a rich man, and my peace of conscience would be gone!' 'Why! You would have injured no one.' 'No; but I should have run the risk of ruining many for my own paltry aggrandisement.

Mother, I have decided! You won't much grieve over our leaving this house, shall you, dear mother?' 'No! but to have you other than what you are will break my heart. What can you do?' 'Be always the same John Thornton in whatever circumstances; endeavouring to do right, and making great blunders; and then trying to be brave in setting to afresh. But it is hard, mother. I have so worked and planned.

I have discovered new powers in my situation too late--and now all is over.