"Carry out your intention," I said. "Insult me."His hand dropped.
"Insult me," I repeated; "it is one way out of the unendurable situation in which we are placed. You may trust me to challenge you. Duels are still fought on the Continent; I will follow you abroad; I will choose pistols; I will take care that we fight on the fatal foreign system; and I will purposely miss you. Make her what I intended her to be--my rich widow."He looked at me attentively.
"Is _that_ your refuge?" he asked, scornfully. "No! I won't help you to commit suicide."God forgive me! I was possessed by a spirit of reckless despair;I did my best to provoke him.
"Reconsider your decision," I said; "and remember--you tried to commit suicide yourself."He turned quickly to the door, as if he distrusted his own powers of self-control.
"I wish to speak to Susan," he said, keeping his back turned on me.
"You will find her in the library."
He left me.
I went to the window. I opened it and let the cold wintry air blow over my burning head. I don't know how long I sat at the window. There came a time when I saw Rothsay on the house steps.