In a quarter of an hour's time Mr.Dark joined me, and drank to my health, happiness and prosperity in three separate tumblers.
After performing this ceremony, he wagged his head and chuckled with an appearance of such excessive enjoyment that I could not avoid remarking on his high spirits.
"It's the case, William--it's the beautiful neatness of the case that quite intoxicates me.Oh, Lord, what a happiness it is to be concerned in such a job as this!" cries Mr.Dark, slapping his stumpy hands on his fat knees in a sort of ecstasy.
I had a very different opinion of the case for my own part, but Idid not venture on expressing it.I was too anxious to know how Mr.James Smith had been discovered and produced at the examination to enter into any arguments.Mr.Dark guessed what was passing in my mind, and, telling me to sit down and make myself comfortable, volunteered of his own accord to inform me of all that I wanted to know.
"When I got my instructions and my statement of particulars," he began, "I was not at all surprised to hear that Mr.James Smith had come back.(I prophesied that, if you remember, William, the last time we met?) But I was a good deal astonished, nevertheless, at the turn things had taken, and I can't say Ifelt very hopeful about finding our man.However, I followed my master's directions, and put the advertisement in the papers.It addressed Mr.James Smith by name, but it was very carefully worded as to what was wanted of him.Two days after it appeared, a letter came to our office in a woman's handwriting.It was my business to open the letters, and I opened that.The writer was short and mysterious.She requested that somebody would call from our office at a certain address, between the hours of two and four that afternoon, in reference to the advertisement which we had inserted in the newspapers.Of course, I was the somebody who went.I kept myself from building up hopes by the way, knowing what a lot of Mr.James Smiths there were in London.On getting to the house, I was shown into the drawing-room, and there, dressed in a wrapper and lying on a sofa, was an uncommonly pretty woman, who looked as if she was just recovering from an illness.She had a newspaper by her side, and came to the point at once: 'My husband's name is James Smith,' she says, 'and Ihave my reasons for wanting to know if he is the person you are in search of.' I described our man as Mr.James Smith, of Darrock Hall, Cumberland.'I know no such person,' says she--""What! was it not the second wife, after all?" I broke out.
"Wait a bit," says Mr.Dark."I mentioned the name of the yacht next, and she started up on the sofa as if she had been shot.'Ithink you were married in Scotland, ma'am,' says I.She turns as pale as ashes, and drops back on the sofa, and says, faintly: 'It is my husband.Oh, sir, what has happened? What do you want with him? Is he in debt?' I took a minute to think, and then made up my mind to tell her everything, feeling that she would keep her husband (as she called him) out of the way if I frightened her by any mysteries.A nice job I had, William, as you may suppose, when she knew about the bigamy business.What with screaming, fainting, crying, and blowing me up (as if _I_ was to blame!), she kept me by that sofa of hers the best part of an hour--kept me there, in short, till Mr.James Smith himself came back.Ileave you to judge if that mended matters.He found me mopping the poor woman's temples with scent and water; and he would have pitched me out of the window, as sure as I sit here, if I had not met him and staggered him at once with the charge of murder against his wife.That stopped him when he was in full cry, I can promise you.'Go and wait in the next room,' says he, 'and I'll come in and speak to you directly.' ""And did you go?" I asked.
"Of course I did," said Mr.Dark."I knew he couldn't get out by the drawing-room windows, and I knew I could watch the door; so away I went, leaving him alone with the lady, who didn't spare him by any manner of means, as I could easily hear in the next room.However, all rows in this world come to an end sooner or later, and a man with any brains in his head may do what he pleases with a woman who is fond of him.Before long I heard her crying and kissing him.'I can't go home,' she says, after this.
'You have behaved like a villain and a monster to me--but oh, Jemmy, I can't give you up to anybody! Don't go back to your wife! Oh, don't, don't go back to your wife!' 'No fear of that,'
says he.'My wife wouldn't have me if I did go back to her.'
After that I heard the door open, and went out to meet him on the landing.He began swearing the moment he saw me, as if that was any good.'Business first, if you please, sir,' says I, 'and any pleasure you like, in the way of swearing, afterward.' With that beginning, I mentioned our terms to him, and asked the pleasure of his company to Cumberland in return, he was uncommonly suspicious at first, but I promised to draw out a legal document (mere waste paper, of no earthly use except to pacify him), engaging to hold him harmless throughout the proceedings; and what with that, and telling him of the frightful danger his wife was in, I managed, at last, to carry my point.""But did the second wife make no objection to his going away with you?" I inquired.
"Not she," said Mr.Dark."I stated the case to her just as it stood, and soon satisfied her that there was no danger of Mr.