"Isn't that splendid!" cried Susan, kissing her."I thought he would.He fell in love with you at first sight.""That's what he says.But, Lorna--I--I don't know _what_ to do!""_Do_? Why, go.What else is there? Go, of course.""Oh, no, Lorna," protested Etta."I couldn't leave you.Icouldn't get along without you."
"But you must go.Don't you love him?"
Etta began to weep."That's the worst of it.I do love him so!
And I think he loves me--and might marry me and make me a good woman again....You mustn't ever tell John or anybody about that--that dreadful man I went with--will you, dear?""What do you take me for?" said Susan.
"I've told Fatty I was a good girl until I met him.You haven't told John about yourself?" Susan shook her head.
"I suppose not.You're so secretive.You really think I ought to go?""I know it."
Etta was offended by Susan's positive, practical tone."I don't believe you care.""Yes, I care," said Susan."But you're right to follow the man you love.Besides, there's nothing so good in sight here.""What'll _you_ do? Oh, I can't go, Lorna!"
"Now, Etta," said Susan calmly, "don't talk nonsense.I'll get along all right.""You come to Detroit.You could find a job there, and we could live together.""Would Fatty like that?"
Etta flushed and glanced away.Young Gulick had soon decided that Susan was the stronger--therefore, the less "womanly"--of the two girls, and must be the evil influence over her whom he had appeared just in time to save.When he said this to Etta, she protested--not very vigorously, because she wished him to think her really almost innocent.She wasn't _quite_ easy in her mind as to whether she had been loyal to Lorna.But, being normally human, she soon _almost_ convinced herself that but for Lorna she never would have made the awful venture.Anyhow, since it would help her with Gulick and wouldn't do Lorna the least mite of harm, why not let him think he was right?
Said Susan: "Hasn't he been talking to you about getting away from--from all this?""But I don't care," cried Etta, moved to an outburst of frankness by her sense of security in Susan's loyalty and generosity."He doesn't understand.Men are fools about women.
He thinks he likes in me what I haven't got at all.As a matter of fact if I had been what he made me tell him I was, why we'd never have met--or got acquainted in the way that makes us so fond of each other.And I owe it all to you, Lorna.I don't care what he says, Lorna--or does.I want you.""Can't go," said Susan, not conscious--yet not unaware, either--of the curious mixture of heart and art in Etta's outburst of apparent eagerness to risk everything for love of her."Can't possibly go.I've made other plans.The thing for you is to be straight--get some kind of a job in Detroit--make Fatty marry you--quick!""He would, but his father'd throw him out."
"Not if you were an honest working girl."
"But----" Etta was silent and reflective for a moment."Men are so queer," she finally said."If I'd been an honest working girl he'd never have noticed me.It's because I am what I am that I've been able to get acquainted with him and fascinate him.And he feels it's a sporty thing to do--to marry a fast girl.If Iwas to settle down to work, be a regular working girl--why, I'm afraid he--he'd stop loving me.Then, too, he likes to believe he's rescuing me from a life of shame.I've watched him close.
I understand him."
"No doubt," said Susan drily.
"Oh, I know you think I'm deceitful.But a woman's got to be, with a man.And I care a lot about him--aside from the fact that he can make me comfortable and--and protect me from--from the streets.If you cared for a man--No, I guess you wouldn't.You oughtn't to be so--so _honest_, Lorna.It'll always do you up."Susan laughed, shrugged her shoulders."I am what I am," said she."I can't be any different.If I tried, I'd only fail worse.""You don't love John--do you?"
"I like him."
"Then you wouldn't have to do _much_ pretending," urged Etta.
"And what does a little pretending amount to?""That's what I say to myself," replied Susan thoughtfully.
"It isn't nearly as bad as--as what we started out to do."Susan laughed at Etta's little hypocrisy for her respectability's comfort."As what we did--and are doing,"corrected she.Burlingham had taught her that it only makes things worse and more difficult to lie to oneself about them.
"John's crazy about you.But he hasn't money enough to ask you to come along.And----" Etta hesitated, eyed Susan doubtfully.
"You're _sure_ you don't love him?"
"No.I couldn't love him any more than--than I could hate him."Susan's strange look drifted across her features."It's very queer, how I feel toward men.But--I don't love him and I shan't pretend.I want to, but somehow--I can't."Etta felt that she could give herself the pleasure of unburdening herself of a secret."Then I may as well tell you, he's engaged to a girl he thinks he ought to marry.""I suspected so."
"And you don't mind?" inquired Etta, unable to read Susan's queer expression.
"Except for him--and her--a little," replied Susan."I guess that's why I haven't liked him better--haven't trusted him at all.""Aren't men dreadful! And he is so nice in many ways....
Lorna----" Etta was weeping again."I can't go--I can't.Imustn't leave you."
"Don't be absurd.You've simply got to do it.""And I do love him," said Etta, calmed again by Susan's calmness."And if he married me--Oh, how grateful I'd be!""I should say!" exclaimed Susan.She kissed Etta and petted her.
"And he'll have a mighty good wife."
"Do you think I can marry him?"
"If you love him--and don't worry about catching him."Etta shook her head in rejection of this piece of idealistic advice.
"But a girl's got to be shrewd.You ought to be more so, Lorna.""That depends on what a girl wants," said Susan, absently."Upon what she wants," she repeated.
"What do _you_ want?" inquired Etta curiously.
"I don't know," Susan answered slowly.
"I wish I knew what was going on in your head!" exclaimed Etta.