书城外语马克·吐温短篇小说选集(纯爱·英文馆)
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第10章 Playing Courier(2)

Next I found the bank and asked for some money,but I had left my letter of credit somewhere and was not able to draw.I remembered now that I must have left it lying on the table where I wrote my telegram;so I got a cab and drove to the post-office and went up-stairs,and they said that a letter of credit had indeed been left on the table,but that it was now in the hands of the police authorities,and it would be necessary for me to go there and prove property.They sent a boy with me,and we went out the back way and walked a couple of miles and found the place;and then I remembered about my cabs,and asked the boy to send them to me when he got back to the post-office.It was nightfall now,and the Mayor had gone to dinner.I thought I would go to dinner myself,but the officer on duty thought differently,and I stayed.The Mayor dropped in at half past ten,but said it was too late to do anything to-night—come at 9.30in the morning.The officer wanted to keep me all night,and said I was a suspicious-looking person,and probably did not own the letter of credit,and didn't know what a letter of credit was,but merely saw the real owner leave it lying on the table,and wanted to get it because I was probably a person that would want anything he could get,whether it was valuable or not.But the Mayor said he saw nothing suspicious about me,and that I seemed a harmless person and nothing the matter with me but a wandering mind,and not much of that.So I thanked him and he set me free,and I went home in my three cabs.

As I was dog-tired and in no condition to answer questions with discretion,I thought I would not disturb the Expedition at that time of night,as there was a vacant room I knew of at the other end of the hall;but I did not quite arrive there,as a watch had been set,the Expedition being anxious about me.I was placed in a galling situation.The Expedition sat stiff and forbidding on four chairs in a row,with shawls and things all on,satchels and guidebooks in lap.They had been sitting like that for four hours,and the glass going down all the time.Yes,and they were waiting—waiting for me.It seemed to me that nothing but a sudden,happily contrived,and brilliant tour de force could break this iron front and make a diversion in my favor;so I shied my hat into the arena and followed it with a skip and a jump,shouting blithely:

“Ha,ha,here we all are ,Mr.Merryman!”

Nothing could be deeper or stiller than the absence of applause which followed.But I kept on;there seemed no other way,though my confidence,poor enough before,had got a deadly check and was in effect gone.

I tried to be jocund out of a heavy heart,I tried to touch the other hearts there and soften the bitter resentment in those faces by throwing off bright and airy fun and making of the whole ghastly thing a joyously humorous incident,but this idea was not well conceived.It was not the right atmosphere for it.I got not one smile;not one line in those offended faces relaxed;I thawed nothing of the winter that looked out of those frosty eyes.I started one more breezy,poor effort,but the head of the Expedition cut into the center of it and said:

“Where have you been?”

I saw by the manner of this that the idea was to get down to cold business now.So I began my travels,but was cut short again.

“Where are the two others?We have been in frightful anxiety about them.”

“Oh,they're all right.I was to fetch a cab.I will go straight off,and—”

“Sit down!Don't you know it is eleven o'clock?Where did you leave them?”

“At the pension.”

“Why didn't you bring them?”

“Because we couldn't carry the satchels.And so I thought—”

“Thought!You should not try to think.One cannot think without the proper machinery.It is two miles to that pension.Did you go there without a cab?”

“I—well,I didn't intend to;it only happened so.”

“How did it happen so?”

“Because I was at the post-office and I remembered that I had left a cab waiting here,and so,to stop that expense,I sent another cab to—to—”

“To what?”

“Well,I don't remember now,but I think the new cab was to have the hotel pay the old cab,and send it away.”

“What good would that do?”

“What good would it do?It would stop the expense,wouldn't it?”

“By putting the new cab in its place to continue the expense?”

I didn't say anything.

“Why didn't you have the new cab come back for you?”

“Oh,that is what I did.I remember now.Yes,that is what I did.Because I recollect that when I—”

“Well,then why didn't it come back for you?”

“To the post-office?Why,it did.”

“Very well,then,how did you come to walk to the pension?”

“I—I don't quite remember how that happened.Oh,yes,I do remember now.I wrote the despatch to send to the Netherlands,and—”

“Oh,thank goodness,you did accomplish something!I wouldn't have had you fail to send—what makes you look like that!You are trying to avoid my eye.That despatch is the most important thing that—You haven't sent that despatch!”

“I haven't said I didn't send it.”

“You don't need to.Oh,dear,I wouldn't have had that telegram fail for anything.Why didn't you send it?”

“Well,you see,with so many things to do and think of,I—they're very particular there,and after I had written the telegram—”

“Oh,never mind,let it go,explanations can't help the matter now—what will he think of us?”

“Oh,that's all right,that's all right,he'll think we gave the telegram to the hotel people,and that they—”

“Why,certainly!Why didn't you do that?There was no other rational way.”

“Yes,I know,but then I had it on my mind that I must be sure and get to the bank and draw some money—”

“Well,you are entitled to some credit,after all,for thinking of that,and I don't wish to be too hard on you,though you must acknowledge yourself that you have cost us all a good deal of trouble,and some of it not necessary.How much did you draw?”

“Well,I—I had an idea that—that—”

“That what?”

“That—well,it seems to me that in the circumstances—so many of us,you know,and—and—”

“What are you mooning about?Do turn your face this way and let me—why,you haven't drawn any money!”

“Well,the banker said—”