Nightmarish as her own wedding had been,Ashley's wedding was even worse.Scarlett stood in her apple-green “second-day”dress in the parlor of Twelve Oaks amid the blaze of hundreds of candles,jostled by the same throng as the night before,and saw the plain little face of Melanie Hamilton glow into beauty as she became Melanie Wilkes.Now,Ashley was gone forever.Her Ashley.No,not her Ashley now.Had he ever been hers?It was all so mixed up in her mind and her mind was so tired,so bewildered.He had said he loved her,but what was it that had separated them?If she could only remember.She had stilled the County's gossiping tongue by marrying Charles,but what did that matter now?It had seemed so important once,but now it didn't seem important at all.All that mattered was Ashley.Now he was gone and she was married to a man she not only did not love but for whom she had an active contempt.
Oh,how she regretted it all.She had often heard of people cutting off their noses to spite their faces but heretofore it had been only a figure of speech.Now she knew just what it meant.And mingled with her frenzied desire to be free of Charles and safely back at Tara,an unmarried girl again,ran the knowledge that she had only herself to blame.Ellen had tried to stop her and she would not listen.
So she danced through the night of Ashley's wedding in a daze and said things mechanically and smiled and irrelevantly wondered at the stupidity of people who thought her a happy bride and could not see that her heart was broken.Well,thank God,they couldn't see!
That night after Mammy had helped her undress and had departed and Charles had emerged shyly from the dressing room,wondering if he was to spend a second night in the horsehair chair,she burst into tears.She cried until Charles climbed into bed beside her and tried to comfort her,cried without words until no more tears would come and at last she lay sobbing quietly on his shoulder.
If there had not been a war,there would have been a week of visiting about the County,with balls and barbecues in honor of the two newly married couples before they set off to Saratoga or white Sulphur for wedding trips.A week after the wedding Charles left to join Colonel Wade Hampton,and two weeks later Ashley and the Troop departed,leaving the whole County bereft.
In those two weeks,Scarlett never saw Ashley alone,never had a private word with him.Not even at the terrible moment of parting,when he stopped by Tara on his way to the train,did she have a private talk.Melanie,bonneted and shawled,sedate in newly acquired matronly dignity,hung on his arm and the entire personnel of Tara,black and white,turned out to see Ashley off to the war.
Melanie said:“You must kiss Scarlett,Ashley.She's my sister now,”and Ashley bent and touched her cheek with cold lips,his face drawn and taut.Scarlett could hardly take any joy from that kiss,so sullen was her heart at Melly's prompting it.Melanie smothered her with an embrace at parting.
“You will come to Atlanta and visit me and Aunt Pittypat,won't you?Oh,darling,we want to have you so much!We want to know Charlie's wife better.”
Five weeks passed during which letters,shy,ecstatic,loving,came from Charles in South Carolina telling of his love,his plans for the future when the war was over,his desire to become a hero for her sake and his worship of his commander,Wade Hampton.In the seventh week,there came a telegram from Colonel Hampton himself,and then a letter,a kind,dignified letter of condolence.Charles was dead.The colonel would have wired earlier,but Charles,thinking his illness a trifling one,did not wish to have his family worried.The unfortunate boy had been cheated not only of the love he thought he had won but also of his high hopes of honor and glory on the field of battle.He had died ignominiously and swiftly of pneumonia,following measles,without ever having gotten any closer to the Yankees than the camp in South Carolina.
In due time,Charles'son was born and,because it was fashionable to name boys after their fathers'commanding officers,he was called Wade Hampton Hamilton.Scarlett had wept with despair at the knowledge that she was pregnant and wished that she were dead.But she carried the child through its time with a minimum of discomfort,bore him with little distress and recovered so quickly that Mammy told her privately it was downright common—ladies should suffer more.She had not wanted him and she resented his coming and,now that he was here,it did not seem possible that he was hers,a part of her.
Though she recovered physically from Wade's birth in a disgracefully short time,mentally she was dazed and sick.Her spirits drooped,despite the efforts of the whole plantation to revive them.Ellen went about with a puckered,worried forehead and Gerald swore even more frequently than usual and brought her useless gifts from Jonesboro.Even old Dr.Fontaine admitted that he was puzzled,after his tonic of sulphur,molasses and herbs failed to perk her up.He told Ellen privately that it was a broken heart that made Scarlett so irritable and listless by turns.But Scarlett,had she wished to speak,could have told them that it was a far different and more complex trouble.She did not tell them that it was utter boredom,bewilderment at actually being a mother and,most of all,the absence of Ashley that made her look so woebegone.