THE WATER-WORKS CORKED!
BRER MERLIN WORKS HIS ARTS,BUT GETS
LEFT?
But the Boss scores on his first Innings!
The Miraculous Well Uncorked amid awful outbursts of INFERNAL FIRE AND SMOKEATHUNDER!
THE BUZZARD-ROOST ASTONISHED!
UNPARALLELED REJOIBINGS!--and so on,and so on.Yes,it was too loud.Once I could have enjoyed it and seen nothing out of the way about it,but now its note was discordant.
It was good Arkansas journalism,but this was not Arkansas.Moreover,the next to the last line was calculated to give offense to the hermits,and perhaps lose us their advertising.Indeed,there was too lightsome a tone of flippancy all through the paper.It was plain I had undergone a considerable change without noticing it.I found myself unpleasantly affected by pert little irreverencies which would have seemed but proper and airy graces of speech at an earlier period of my life.There was an abundance of the following breed of items,and they discomforted me:LOCAL SMOKE AND CINDERS.
Sir Launcelot met up with old King Agrivance of Ireland unexpectedly last weok over on the moor south of Sir Balmoral le Merveilleuse's hog dasture.
The widow has been notified.
Expedition No.3will start adout the first of mext month on a search f8r Sir Sagramour le Desirous.It is in com-and of the renowned Knight of the Red Lawns,assissted by Sir Persant of Inde,who is compete9t.intelligent,courte-ous,and in every way a brick,and fur-tHer assisted by Sir Palamides the Sara-cen,who is no huckleberry hinself.
This is no pic-nic,these boys mean busine&s.
The readers of the Hosannah will re-gret to learn that the hadndsome and popular Sir Charolais of Gaul,who dur-ing his four weeks'stay at the Bull and Halibut,this city,has won every heart by his polished manners and elegant cPnversation,will pUll out to-day for home.Give us another call,Charley!
The bdsiness end of the funeral of the late Sir Dalliance the duke's son of Cornwall,killed in an encounter with the Giant of the Knotted Bludgeon last Tuesday on the borders of the Plain of Enchantment was in the hands of the ever affable and efficient Mumble,prince of un3ertakers,then whom there exists none by whom it were a more satisfying pleasure to have the last sad offices performed.Give him a trial.
The cordial thanks of the Hosannah office are due,from editor down to devil,to the ever courteous and thought-ful Lord High Stew d of the Palace's Third Assistant V t for several sau-ceTs of ice crEam a quality calculated to make the ey of the recipients hu-mid with grt ude;and it done it.
When this administration wants to chalk up a desirable name for early promotion,the Hosannah would like a chance to sudgest.
The Demoiselle Irene Dewlap,of South Astolat,is visiting her uncle,the popular host of the Cattlemen's Board-ing Ho&se,Liver Lane,this city.
Young Barker the bellows-mender is hoMe again,and looks much improved by his vacation round-up among the ut-lying smithies.See his ad.Of course it was good enough journalism for a beginning;I knew that quite well,and yet it was somehow disappointing.The "Court Circular"pleased me better;indeed,its simple and dignified respectfulness was a distinct refreshment to me after all those disgraceful familiarities.But even it could have been improved.Do what one may,there is no getting an air of variety into a court circular,I acknowledge that.There is a profound monotonousness about its facts that baffles and defeats one's sincerest efforts to make them sparkle and enthuse.The best way to manage --in fact,the only sensible way --is to disguise repetitiousness of fact under variety of form:skin your fact each time and lay on a new cuticle of words.