书城外语Identity 身份
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第1章 Self-Portrait

In the thickening twilight, by the mountain ridge, wind whispers to a child:

When I am gone, there will be a fairytale awaiting you yonder.

Oh, babe, leave behind your name on this land,

Because this is where you will die in pride."

—Epigraph

In this land, I am the history chronicled in the language of the Yi people

A new-born baby by a woman unable to cut the umbilical cord

My name carries anguish

My name carries beauty

My name carries hope

I am a poem of masculinity

Nurtured through thousands of years

By a yarn-spinning woman

My ancient father

A man of men

Is known as Zhixia Aalu to all

And my mother of eternal youth

Is the proud singer of this land

The river that gently flows nearby in silence

Is my lifelong lover

The beauty of beauties

Who is addressed by all as Xiama Aaniu

I have died one thousand deaths

A man who always sleeps facing left

I have died one thousand deaths

A woman who always sleeps facing right

I am a messenger of friendship who comes from afar

Resurrected in the wake of thousands of funerals

I am that trembling consonant

Uttered by my mother at the pitch of her voice

As thousands of funerals reach their climaxes

These are what encapsulate the person I am

But I am more than these encapsulations

Because in me lies the age-old conflict between good and evil

From time immemorial

I am the descendant of love and fantasy

Fostered through thousands of years of fruition

I am the matrimony that has existed since great antiquity

But with still no end in sight

In all truth I am an epitome and incarnation

Of all the allegiances

Of all the betrayals

Of all that is living

Of all that is dead

Oh, the world out there, please heed my answer to thee

I am the native son of the Yi people