"What a crazy dream," Sabrina mumbled when she woke. In it, she had been walking along a stone path until she suddenly realized she was naked. She screamed and rushed to the bushes to hide. How could she have left the house without getting dressed? It was mortifying, but things only got worse. A moment later, Puck appeared. Since she had little alternative, she begged him to bring her a set of clothes. Much to her disbelief, he flew off and swiftly returned with a pair of jeans, a shirt, and sneakers. Then, he walked away so she could dress in private, leaving without so much as a snicker or a sarcastic comment. Relieved, she dressed quickly and continued on her way, only to find people staring and pointing as she passed them. She looked down to find she was completely naked again! She cried out for Puck, hoping he'd fetch her another set of clothing, but the boy fairy just shook his head in disappointment.
"Clothes can't hide who you really are, Sabrina," he said.
Even in her dreams, Puck was a pain.
Now she was awake and, thankfully, dressed in her pajamas. A cool breeze drifted through her bedroom window, causing the model airplanes hanging from the ceiling to sway back and forth. She watched them for a while, imagining her father building them when he was her age. He must have put a lot of effort into the models. They were beautiful.
Sabrina checked her alarm clock: 3:00 a.m. Now was a good time, she decided. There were no emergencies to deal with, no impending chaos, and-best of all-no prying eyes. Her little sister, Daphne, was still asleep, snoring softly into her pillow. She wouldn't wake until morning. Yes, now was the best time.
Sabrina slipped out of bed, knelt down, and reached under the bed to a loose floorboard. From beneath it, she retrieved a little black bag. She then tiptoed to the bathroom.
Once there, she closed the door and flipped on the light. Getting the room to herself for more than a few seconds was a special treat. There were a lot of people living in the big old house. In addition to the sisters, there were Uncle Jake, Granny Relda, Puck-and of course Elvis, the family dog, who often used the toilet as a drinking fountain. They all shared one tiny bathroom, and privacy was in short supply.
Sabrina spilled the bag's contents into the sink. It was a small but treasured collection of makeup she quietly bought whenever the family went into town: tubes of lip gloss, eye shadow, mascara, blush, and foundation.
"All right, here goes nothing," she whispered.
First, she smeared on the foundation, but it made her look like a ghost. To balance it out, she put on blush. Then she applied mascara, which was thick and gloppy, and she poked herself in the eye with the eyeliner pencil. After smudging some lipstick on, she took a step back to peer at herself fully the mirror.
Sabrina nearly cried. She looked like the joker from a stack of playing cards. She was hideous. How was she supposed to learn how to use this stuff?
She needed her mother. Veronica would know how to do makeup. She would explain all the things Sabrina was feeling but didn't understand, like why Sabrina's appearance was becoming more and more important to her. It seemed like just yesterday when she couldn't have cared less about how she looked, but now? It felt as if all she could think about was how others might see her. She hated herself for it.
Luckily, no one in her family had noticed her new preoccupation-most important, Puck. If he discovered she was visiting the bathroom in the middle of the night to primp, he would never stop making fun of her.
Sabrina scrubbed the makeup off her face and was about to go back to bed when she heard something bubbling in the toilet. The lid was down, so she couldn't see what was causing the noise, but she had her suspicions. Before Puck had moved into the house with the Grimms, he'd lived in the woods. Modern conveniences mesmerized him-none more so than the toilet. He loved to flush it over and over and watch the water swirl around and disappear.
For months, he was convinced toilets were some kind of magic, until Uncle Jake explained how plumbing worked. The newfound knowledge only increased Puck's fascination, and it wasn't long before he was conducting "scientific research" to discover what could-and couldn't-be flushed down the tubes. It started out with a little loose change, but the items quickly grew in size: marbles, wristwatches, doorknobs, balls of yarn, even-once-scoops of butter pecan ice cream. Granny finally put an end to the fun when she caught him trying to flush a beaver he'd found in the woods. Ever since, the toilet regularly coughed up Puck's "experiments." Last week Sabrina had found one of her mittens floating in the bowl. Now, apparently, something else was making its way to the surface. She hoped it wasn't the missing TV remote.
But when Sabrina lifted the lid, she found something so shocking, she would likely fear toilets for the rest of her life. A little man was sitting in the bowl.
"Who goes there?" he demanded in a squeaky voice. He was less than a foot tall and wore a tiny green suit, a matching bowler hat, and shiny black shoes with brass buckles. His long red beard dipped into the water.
Sabrina shrieked and slammed the toilet lid on the creature's head. He groaned and shouted a few angry curses, but Sabrina didn't stick around to hear them. She ran down the hallway, screaming for her grandmother.
Granny Relda stumbled out of her room wearing an ankle-length nightgown and a sleeping cap. She looked the picture of the sweet, gentle grandmother, except for the sharpened battle-ax she held in her hand.
"Liebling!" she cried in a light German accent. "What is all this racket?"
"There's something in the toilet!" Sabrina yelled.
Uncle Jake came out of a room at the end of the hall. He was fully dressed in jeans, leather boots, and his new overcoat covered with hundreds of little pockets he had sewn himself. He looked exhausted and in dire need of a shave.
"What's all the hubbub?"
"Sabrina saw something in the toilet," Granny Relda explained.
"I swear I flushed," Uncle Jake said as he threw up his hands.
"Not that!" Sabrina shrieked. "It was a person. He spoke to me."
"Mom, you've really got to cut back on all the spicy food you've been feeding the girls," Uncle Jake said. "It's giving them bad dreams."
"It wasn't a dream!" Sabrina insisted. "Come see for yourself."
Daphne entered the hallway, dragging her blanket behind her. "Can't a person get some shut-eye around here?" she grumbled.
"Sabrina had a bad dream," Granny Relda explained.
"It wasn't a dream!" Sabrina repeated. "There's something in the toilet."
"I swear I flushed," Daphne said.
"Ugh! I'll show you," Sabrina said, pulling her family into the bathroom. She pointed at the toilet. "It's in there!"
Granny set her battle-ax on the floor and smiled. "Honestly, Sabrina, I think you're a little old to be scared of the bogeyman."
The old woman lifted the lid. Inside was the little man, rubbing the top of his head and glaring angrily at the crowd.
"What's the big idea?" he growled.
The Grimms all cried out in fright. Startled, Granny slammed the lid down, and everyone backed out into the hall.
"Now do you believe me?" Sabrina asked.
"Oh my!" Granny exclaimed. "I'll never doubt you again!"
"What should we do, Mom?" Uncle Jake asked the old woman.
"Elvis!" Granny Relda shouted.
Seconds later, an enormous Great Dane barreled up the stairs, knocking a few pictures off the wall as he bolted to the bathroom. He barked at the toilet fiercely, snarling and snapping at the lid.
"Get him, boy!" Daphne ordered.
"You better surrender!" Uncle Jake shouted at the toilet. "Our dog is very hungry!"
Just then, another door opened down the hall, and a shaggy-haired boy in cloud-print pajamas stepped into the hallway. He scratched his armpit and belched. "Is there a war going on out here? Some people are trying to sleep!"
"There's something in the toilet!" Daphne shouted.
"Yeah, I probably forgot to flush," Puck said as he turned back to his room. "Enjoy!"
"Not that! There's a little man in it," Granny Relda said.
"Oh, you mean Seamus," Puck said matter-of-factly. "He's part of your new security detail."
"Security detail?" Sabrina repeated.
"Yeah. Now that Mr. Canis is in jail, you people need bodyguards, and to be honest, I'm too busy to do it all myself. So I hired a team of experts."
"Why is he in the toilet?" Uncle Jake pressed.
"He's guarding it. Duh. The toilet is a vulnerable entrance into this house," Puck explained. "Anything could crawl up the pipes and take a bite of your-"
"We get the idea," Granny Relda interrupted. "What are we supposed to do when we need to use it?"
"Seamus takes regular breaks and has lunch every day at noon," Puck said.
"This is ridiculous," Sabrina said. "We don't need bodyguards, and we definitely don't need you to put some weirdo in the toilet!"
Seamus lifted the lid and crawled out of the toilet with an angry look in his eyes. "Who are you calling a weirdo? I'm a leprechaun. Puck, I didn't sign on for this abuse. I quit!"
"Quit? You can't quit," Puck insisted. "Who will I get to replace you?"
"Go find a toilet elf. What do I care?" the leprechaun shouted as he stomped down the hall, leaving a trail of little wet footprints behind him.
Puck frowned. "Now look what you've done. Do you know how hard it is to find someone to sit in a toilet all day and night?"
"How many more leprechauns are in the house?" Daphne asked, peeking behind the shower curtain.
"That was the only one," Puck said.
"Good!" Sabrina said, relieved.
"But there are a dozen trolls, some goblins, a few elves and brownies, and a chupacabra."
Sabrina gasped. "There are weirdos all over the house?"
"Weirdo is a really ugly term. This is the twenty-first century, you know," Puck replied. "Wait a minute. What's that on your lips?"
Horrified, Sabrina wiped her mouth on her sleeve, leaving a lipstick stain on her shirt. She silently cursed herself for not washing thoroughly enough.
"Puck, we appreciate your looking after us," Granny said. "With Mr. Canis temporarily in the town jail, I guess it can't hurt to have a security detail around the house, but the bathroom might be the one place we don't need an extra set of eyes."
"Suit yourself, but if a dragon crawls up the pipes and toasts your rear end, don't come crying to me," Puck said, stomping off to his room.
Daphne peered into the toilet. "Could a dragon really fit in there?"
Granny Relda assured the little girl that she was safe from dragon attacks and encouraged everyone to go back to bed. "We're going to visit Mr. Canis bright and early tomorrow," she reminded them.
Another wasted trip, Sabrina thought to herself. The family had gone to see their old friend every day since his arrest. Every time, they'd been turned away by the sheriff.
Granny returned to her room, with Elvis trotting behind her.
"Hey, before you two go back to sleep, do you want to see where she is?" Uncle Jake asked.
"Absolutely," Daphne replied.
The girls followed their uncle to a room at the end of the hall. It was sparsely furnished, with only a full-length mirror against the far wall and a queen-size bed in the middle. Lying on the bed were Henry and Veronica Grimm, Sabrina and Daphne's parents, the victims of a spell that kept them sound asleep. Nothing Sabrina and her family had tried could wake them. But recently, the Grimms had found a glimmer of hope-they'd learned a woman from their father's past could break the spell. Unfortunately, this woman wasn't in Ferryport Landing, but the family had found a way to locate her.
The trio turned to the mirror hanging on the wall. This was no ordinary mirror: Instead of their reflection, a huge head with thick features floated in the glass, surrounded by black clouds and streaks of lightning.
"Mirror, we'd like to take a look at Goldilocks," Jake said.
"Jake, you know how this works. Poetry activates the magic," Mirror replied.
Daphne stepped forward. "Mirror, Mirror, my greatest wish is to know where Goldilocks is."
Mirror frowned.
"What?" Daphne said. "It rhymes!"
"Hardly! Is and wish do not rhyme."
"It's close enough!"
"Where is the rhythm? And the meter-atrocious!"
"Listen, if you want real poetry, read some Maya Angelou," Uncle Jake said. "Just show us Goldilocks."
Mirror frowned but did as he was told. Gazing into the silvery surface, Sabrina saw a beautiful, curly-haired woman appear. She had a round face and green eyes. Her button nose was painted with a splash of freckles, and her blond hair looked like sunshine. She wore a billowy white dress and was perched atop a camel. There were other people with her, each on their own camel. Everyone was snapping pictures of an ancient pyramid rising out of a rocky desert.
"Goldilocks," Sabrina whispered.
"Wherever she is, it looks hot," Daphne said, peering into the mirror.
"I think it's Egypt. The place is overrun with pyramids," Uncle Jake said.
"Last week she was in the Serengeti, the week before-South Africa," Daphne said.
Uncle Jake shrugged. "She's only ever in one place for a few days, and then she jets off somewhere completely different."
"How are we going to get a message to her?" Sabrina growled. "She has to come back here. She has to help us wake up Mom and Dad!"
Daphne and Uncle Jake seemed taken aback by Sabrina's sudden temper, but she had a right to be angry. Their mission to break the sleeping spell had once felt hopeless. Now they had a solution, and it was almost harder than before. Watching Goldilocks dart around the world on her silly vacations and not being able to speak to her was maddening.
"Be patient, 'Brina," Uncle Jake said soothingly. "We'll track her down."
Mirror's fierce face appeared in the silver surface.
"Is there anything else I can help you with, folks?" Mirror asked.
"Not unless you can drag Goldilocks away from Egypt and bring her here," Jake said.
"I'm afraid that's not one of my abilities. Speaking of dragging, though-girls, could you drag your uncle out of here? He's been lurking in front of me for two weeks. He needs something to eat and, if you ask me, a long-overdue bath."
"Mirror!" Uncle Jake cried.
Daphne sniffed the air. "You are a little rank."
Uncle Jake sighed and threw his hands up in surrender. "Fine! I get it! You two should run off to bed. You heard your grandmother: You've got another big day tomorrow of sitting outside the jail, hoping to see Mr. Canis."
"You're not coming with us?" Daphne asked her uncle.
"Not this time, peanut. I've got plans."
"Briar Rose plans?" Sabrina asked.
"Holding hands and smooching plans?" Daphne asked.
"If I play my cards right." Uncle Jake winked. "Girls, I have to confess. I think the princess is the one."
Daphne's face cracked into a wide grin. "I call dibs on being the flower girl at the wedding."
"Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves," Uncle Jake said, but he was grinning just as widely.
Granny Relda's cooking left a lot to be desired. Many of her signature dishes included strange roots, rare flowers, milk from unusual animals, and tree bark, all in heavy, bubbling sauces. But that morning, Sabrina's appetite was ruined not by her grandmother's cooking, but by a small, pig-snouted creature sitting on the table. It had beady red eyes, large blisters all over its face, and a long, blue, forked tail it used to swat the flies that circled its melon-shaped head.
"I suppose you're part of the security team," Sabrina said to the creature, which nodded and puffed up its chest proudly.
"I'm a poison sniffer, I am. My job is to sniff out anything that might kill ya before you put it in your gob, if it pleases you, miss."
"My gob?"
"Your piehole, your chowder box, your mouth," it said as it wiped its runny nose on its extremely hairy arm. "I'm to take a snort of every bite. Puck's orders."
"So, we're all just going to accept this madness?" Sabrina asked the empty room. Uncle Jake was already gone for the day, Daphne was doing something secretive in the bathroom, and Puck rarely woke up in time for breakfast.
Granny rushed into the room carrying a sizzling pan. She flipped something that looked like a pink burrito onto Sabrina's plate.
"What is this?" Sabrina asked as she poked at it with her fork. She worried that it might squeal.
"It's porcupine bacon in a rosebush-grub wrap with heavy whipping cream," Granny said as she rushed back to the kitchen.
Sabrina handed her plate to the ugly creature. "I'll give you five bucks if you tell my grandmother this is poisoned."
The creature shook its head. "I cannot be bought, I say."
Granny returned with a pitcher and poured some glowing red juice into Sabrina's glass.
"Your sister has something planned for all of us," the old woman announced, gesturing at Daphne's empty chair. "She told me that today she is going to be a totally different person."
"A person who eats with a fork?" Sabrina asked.
"Don't tease her. She's gotten it into her head that she needs to grow up. When she comes down, try to treat her like an adult," Granny said.
Sabrina cocked an eyebrow. "You're kidding me, right?"
Just then, Daphne stepped into the room, and Sabrina nearly fell out of her chair. Gone were her sister's goofy T-shirts, the denim overalls, the mismatched socks. Daphne was wearing one of Sabrina's nicest dresses. Her hair was combed straight rather than braided in her usual pigtails, and she was wearing lip gloss. She sat in her chair, placed her napkin in her lap, and smiled. "I hope everyone slept well."
It was several moments before Sabrina realized her jaw was hanging open. "Is this some kind of joke?" she asked bitterly. Clearly, Daphne had found her makeup bag and was mocking her.
Daphne frowned, as did Granny Relda.
"No, it's not a joke," Daphne snapped, then did something that made Sabrina's blood boil. She turned to their grandmother and rolled her eyes impatiently. How dare she?
"So, I hear we have some appointments this morning, Grandmother," Daphne said.
Granny chuckled under her breath. "Yes indeed. I need the two of you to hurry with breakfast. We're going downtown."
"How?" Daphne asked. "Uncle Jacob took the car for his date with Briar."
"And if you think we're getting into Rip van Winkle's cab again, you've lost your mind." Sabrina shuddered, recalling their last hair-raising ride with the narcoleptic taxi driver.
"Oh, no. We'll be taking the flying carpet," Granny explained.
"Shotgun!" Daphne cried, then cleared her throat. "What I meant to say is that it sounds quite pleasant."
It was Sabrina's turn to roll her eyes.
After breakfast, Sabrina, Daphne, Granny Relda, and the strange, food-smelling creature (who insisted on coming along as protection) sailed over Ferryport Landing aboard Aladdin's flying carpet. It was just one of a number of magical items the family owned, and one of Sabrina's least favorite. Her first ride on the enchanted rug had nearly gotten her killed, as it seemed to have a mind of its own. But, thankfully, it obeyed Granny's every command.
Along the way, Sabrina gazed down at the town. Everything was changing. The once-quaint neighborhoods were now completely abandoned. Many homes had been demolished, and, in their place, odd, sinister-looking buildings had been erected-castles surrounded by alligator-infested moats and mansions made from ice. Even Mr. Applebee's farm, the site of their first detective case, was being converted into a gigantic chessboard reminiscent of the one in Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking-Glass. The morphing landscape made Sabrina uncomfortable. It was a stark reminder that the Scarlet Hand was taking over Ferryport Landing and that the Grimms were the only humans left.
"There's Main Street!" Daphne shouted over the wind, and seconds later the carpet gently touched down outside the Ferryport Landing National Bank. Once everyone had stepped onto the sidewalk, the rug neatly rolled itself up, and Daphne hoisted it onto her shoulder.
"Wait here and stay out of sight," the pig-snouted creature said. "I'll scout the neighborhood. There could be bandits and archers in the trees."
"I'm sure there are no-" Granny started, but the little monster raced off before she could finish.
"Well, I can't say I'm too unhappy to be rid of him," Granny said. "He claimed everything I made for breakfast was toxic."
"He wasn't wrong," Sabrina mumbled to herself.
Granny led the girls down the street. It was a particularly lonely day downtown. The sidewalks were empty and the roadways deserted. The town's one and only traffic light was burned out. As far as Sabrina knew, Ferryport Landing had never been a boomtown, but the little stores that lined Main Street had always been filled with customers. Now, they stood abandoned. Signs hung in windows declaring emergency liquidations. One read, AFTER 200 YEARS IN BUSINESS WE'RE CLOSING OUR DOORS. Another sign-an ominous red handprint, the mark of the Scarlet Hand-hung in many windows. Sabrina spotted one nailed to the door of Old King Cole's restaurant.
"We're running out of places to eat in this town," Daphne grumbled. Normally, Daphne's single-minded obsession with eating would have made Sabrina smile, but the little girl made a troubling point. The town was closing its doors to humans and any Everafters who didn't join the Scarlet Hand.
Eventually Granny stopped outside of a small office building with huge picture windows and a manicured lawn.
"What are we doing here?" Sabrina asked. "I thought we were going to the jail."
"We've been going to the jail every day for a month, and we haven't been allowed to see Mr. Canis. I don't think that's going to change, so I've decided to hire someone who can help."
Daphne looked up at the building. "We're going to meet an Everafter, aren't we?" The little girl loved meeting fairy-tale characters. She squealed with delight and bit her palm whenever she was in the presence of one. Sabrina was sure meeting a new one would force her sister to give up this new, sophisticated version of herself.
"I guess it won't be such a big deal now that you're a grown-up," Sabrina teased.
"No big deal at all," Daphne said seriously.
Their piglike security guard raced around the corner, breathing heavily and shooting them all panicked looks.
"You should have stayed put!" he said through wheezes. "This place ain't safe, I say."
"Well, luckily we have you," Granny said sarcastically.
The group went inside the building and climbed the stairs to the third floor. There, they found a door that read THE SHERWOOD GROUP: ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW, SUING THE RICH AND GIVING TO THE POOR SINCE 1887. Sabrina scanned her memory for the name Sherwood, but nothing came to mind.
Granny opened the door, and they found themselves in the middle of a chaotic battle. A number of men in business suits were sword fighting, arm wrestling, and drinking beer from tall ceramic mugs, all singing a rambling English fight song at the top of their lungs. Once one song was finished, the men broke into another.
"Hello?" Granny Relda called out, but the men didn't seem to notice her. They kept playing their violent games, laughing, and dancing.
"I should get you out of here," the bodyguard squeaked. "These men are barbarians."
"We'll be fine," Granny assured the creature. "I'm told that this is how they behave all the time. We're perfectly safe."
Just then, a potted fern flew past them and smashed against a wall. There was a loud cheer that suddenly died when the men noticed the family had nearly been hit.
"Gentlemen! We have clients," a huge man with a dark, untamed beard shouted. He stood more than six and a half feet tall and had a chest as wide as a car. His hands were each as big as basketballs. He had a fierce, wild expression on his face that was offset by his beaming smile. "Welcome to the Sherwood Group!"
"Welcome!" the men shouted in unison as they held up their beers.
"I have an appointment with Mr. Robin Hood," Granny said.
Sabrina glanced at her sister, waiting for the little girl to squeal or bounce with happiness, but Daphne caught her looking.
"No big deal, huh?" Sabrina asked.
Daphne shook her head, though it was obvious she was struggling to hold in her excitement.
One of the sword-fighting men sheathed his weapon and rushed to greet Granny. He was tall and handsome, wearing a dark green pinstriped suit and sporting a red goatee and moustache. His wavy hair hung to his shoulders, framing a broad smile and bushy eyebrows that gave him a mischievous appearance.
He kissed Granny's hand. "Welcome, Mrs. Grimm. I'm Robin, and these are my merry men. Who do you want to take to court?"