This was followed by an ostentatious sound as of snoring.Then the voice of the second speaker was heard--"Sammy!"
His friend appeared to awake.
"Eh? Yes? What's up? Has anything happened?""Wake you up at half-past eleven in any event, I suppose?""Thanks, do, sonny." And the critic slept again.
Yes, we took an interest in our plays then.I wonder shall I ever enjoy the British Drama again as I enjoyed it in those days? Shall I ever enjoy a supper again as I enjoyed the tripe and onions washed down with bitter beer at the bar of the old Albion? I have tried many suppers after the theatre since then, and some, when friends have been in generous mood, have been expensive and elaborate.The cook may have come from Paris, his portrait may be in the illustrated papers, his salary may be reckoned by hundreds; but there is something wrong with his art, for all that, I miss a flavour in his meats.There is a sauce lacking.
Nature has her coinage, and demands payment in her own currency.At Nature's shop it is you yourself must pay.Your unearned increment, your inherited fortune, your luck, are not legal tenders across her counter.
You want a good appetite.Nature is quite willing to supply you.
"Certainly, sir," she replies, "I can do you a very excellent article indeed.I have here a real genuine hunger and thirst that will make your meal a delight to you.You shall eat heartily and with zest, and you shall rise from the table refreshed, invigorated, and cheerful.""Just the very thing I want," exclaims the gourmet delightedly.
"Tell me the price."
"The price," answers Mrs.Nature, "is one long day's hard work."The customer's face falls; he handles nervously his heavy purse.
"Cannot I pay for it in money?" he asks."I don't like work, but Iam a rich man, I can afford to keep French cooks, to purchase old wines."Nature shakes her head.
"I cannot take your cheques, tissue and nerve are my charges.For these I can give you an appetite that will make a rump-steak and a tankard of ale more delicious to you than any dinner that the greatest chef in Europe could put before you.I can even promise you that a hunk of bread and cheese shall be a banquet to you; but you must pay my price in my money; I do not deal in yours."And next the Dilettante enters, demanding a taste for Art and Literature, and this also Nature is quite prepared to supply.
"I can give you true delight in all these things," she answers.
"Music shall be as wings to you, lifting you above the turmoil of the world.Through Art you shall catch a glimpse of Truth.Along the pleasant paths of Literature you shall walk as beside still waters.""And your charge?" cries the delighted customer.